90 THRASHER
An axe murderer
by Chad Knight, a
board murderer.
Hesh on with mesh on.
CHAD KNIGHT
Are you still mad about your interview
in Thrasher?
No. I was a little disappointed in the
sarcastic captions that the photographer
decided to put in.
Hey, that's me. Have you ever eaten a
second supper?
Occasionally, when I'm on a trip and I'm
really worn out from skating all day.
Do you give Ed the respect he deserves?
Yes. He gets exactly what he deserves.
Will you tell the story When Dave
Came to Stay?
You mean when Coyne came out here?
Yeah, sure. I've been ready to tell this to the
public. OK, here goes. I had met Dave
Coyne two times in Ohio, and then one time
at Woodward, where we talked and hung
out. Then years later, I received a strange
phone call one day. "Hi, this is Dave Coyne,
remember me?" "Yeah, hi, how's it going?"
"I want to move to California and I was
And now he's about to turn pro
for Maple?
Yeah, and he totally deserves it.
I remember on the trip, Dave had some
theories about his genetic makeup.
I guess he decided that he's half Dave,
but that he's also 50% baby, and that he's
also an additional 50% dinosaur. That
makes him 150% Dinobabycoyne.
Have you ever seen Dave Coyne
self-medicating?
He definitely had a problem with the
shocker. I saw him put it on his face. He
has a technique for healing sprained
ankles, but I don't think we can talk
about that. He has an ability for self-
diagnosis. He has to find what has
caused any illness or injury he gets.
Example: He had congestion in his
chest. He blamed it on some fettucini
he had eaten the night before. He
decided that some of the cheese sauce
had gotten sucked into his lungs and
that's what caused the congestion.
Another time, he fell really hard on the
left side of his body and it was all sore
but he was having problems on his right
side. He decided that when he fell, he
had knocked his immune system out of
the right side of his body and that's
why it was hurt.
It becomes quite apparent that Coyne
doesn't really know any of the funda-
mentals of anatomy or biology.
Yeah.
I
wondering if I could come stay with you for skate poetry. Is there a chance for a
know you recently got into writing
a few days until I find a place of my own. I
can pay rent and do dishes and whatever
you want me to do." OK. Dave moves out.
He loses all his luggage and spends all his
money before he even gets here. Showing up
at my doorstep is Dave Coyne. I had to
clothe him, shelter him, and feed him. His
two-week stay turned into a seven-month
stay. There was no rent paid, no clothes
done. There were occasional dishes washed
until he accused me of being mean to him.
Then he decided he didn't like me anymore.
Where did he sleep during this time?
He slept various places. He slept on
the couch. Except for sometimes we'd
have parties and he'd get scared and he'd
sleep under a pile of laundry in Larry's
room. Occasionally he'd sleep under the
ping-pong table.
When he was sleeping on the couch,
was he wearing his jammies?
Um, that depends. The only jammies he
had were a pair of silky leopard-print boxer
shorts. Often he would sleep on the couch
naked. At the time, Coyne had a Prince
Albert, which means he had his weiner
pierced. And he was blaming this piercing on
giving him a wet dream problem. He was
having wet dreams on our couch several
times a week, so we told him we'd prefer it if
he slept in the leopard-print boxers.
spoken word tour?
Recently, I've
had a lot of
time, so I
might get back
into it. I don't
know about a
tour. We'll see
what happens.
A mistake.
Welcome.
Osiris playa's club.
Suprech
Switch frontside flippage by Scott Pazelt,
the working man's Ronnie Creager.