WORDS AND PHOTOS
BY MICHREL BURNETT
Tower of
power.
Heaven.
Black Ohio
H
ID
NY TIME A MAGAZINE DOES AN ARTICLE ON A CERTAIN
city or town, someone gets pissed. For a group that, in gener-
al, seems largely apathetic about just about everything, the
amount of civic pride held by skateboarders is astounding. If
you mention one skate shop, the shop on the other
side of town gets mad. If you praise Lil' Bill,
inevitably Lil' Jim feels slighted. Stoke out
the goofy-footers, and just wait for the
regular-footed backlash. Editors take the
brunt of most of this anger in the form of
ridiculous letters and/or phone calls, the
latter of which can be played and relished
via the phone messaging system.
"You idiots did a story on Stubbsville and had the
balls not to include Big Clint??!! You had a shot of
Wayne Frackly, and he ain't even from Stubbsville!
You must be stupid! That friggin' photographer of
yours is a friggin' retard! I heard he don't even skate!
And why didn't you men-
tion the Chicken Head Ramp
locals??!! Everyone knows
skatin' in our town wouldn't even
exist without the Chicken Head crew!
You fairies better watch your asses next time
you come to Stubbsville! You idiots are gonna pay
for this!! AARGHH!!!"
"WHY DIDN'T YOU MENTION THE
CHICKEN HEAD RAMP LOCALS??!!"
These sorts of tirades are happily rewound and played for
coworkers until their novelty has worn off, at which time they are
erased and forgotten.
Fortunately for you, Ohio skaters, there will be no qualitative
assessment of your homeland (although I'd like to mention that I
had a really great time there). There will be no blow-by-blow of
our travels or adventures. There will be no boring spot check
story. Instead, I invite you to create your own.
(YOUR TOWN)
When people hear the name (YOUR
TOWN) they often think of (NOUN),
(NOUN), or maybe even the (SPORT) team
the (NOUN PLURAL). What they might not
realize is that (YOUR TOWN) is a boiling
kettle of skateboarding-steaming, shaking
and ready to explode!
Skating in (YOUR TOWN) has its old
school roots, which began when (NAME),
(NAME), and the (NAME) brothers built
the then-state-of-the-art (ADJECTIVE
ramp. With the Misfits and Black Flag
blaring, countless sessions went down
with plenty of bonelesses, handplants
and other old-school favorites by the
crew, who went by the name (TEAM
NAME). (NAME) was even sponsored by
(OLD COMPANY) for a while, and spun
the first McTwist in (YOUR TOWN).
However, as vert died and the old skaters
quit, got married, or whatever, a whole new
crew of innovators arose to rule the streets.
Up-and-comers like (NAME), (NAME), and
Lil' (NAME), and anyone who has con-
tributed to the brilliant sessions at (STREET
SPOT) carry the torch of innovation
(NAME) can be seen going for broke on the
big twelve-stair rail at (SKATE SPOT) while
(NAME) and (NAME) focus on pushing
ledge tricks to their technical limits
Everyone in (YOUR TOWN) has progres
sion on their minds.
G
No, I love
you more.
Although the weather can be brutal, the
skaters of (YOUR TOWN) make do with
whatever small patch of dry ground they can
find, even if that means skating a (NOUN) or
in someone's (NOUN).
Summers are the time to check out (YOUR
TOWN). Whether shredding the (ADJEC-
TIVE) area (most of the time a bust) with the
bros, kickin' it at (YOUR SKATE SHOP), or
just gettin' crazy, freestylin' and shit, fun is on
everyone's mind.
More recently, (NAME) has been puttin'
(YOUR TOWN) on the video map with his ill
filming skills, which have landed (NAME),
coverage in the (NAME) video. Visiting pros
(NAME), and (NAME) some much-deserved.
like (NAME) have also marveled at the many
spots and chill atmosphere. Footage of
(SKATE SPOT) can even be seen in the (BIG
TIME COMPANY) video. Could (YOUR
TOWN) turn into the next LA or SF? Only
time will tell.
If you come to (YOUR TOWN), leave your
misconceptions and attitudes behind and get
ready to just skate and have a great time. I
guarantee you will not be disappointed.
(NAME), (NAME), (NAME), (NAME),
Much thanks to (NAME), (NAME), (NAME),
(NAME), (NAME), (NAME), (NAME),
(NAME), (NAME), (NAME), (NAME),
(NAME), (NAME), (NAME), (NAME),
(NAME), (NAME), (NAME), (NAME), and
especially (NAME).
Bad Italian
People not mascots
Yeah, Dad, represent!
Svitak is to the heelflip as
New Jersey is to the mullet.