6
"not even really hippies."
The conversation turned somehow to
skating with blown-out shoes and doing
kneeslides (remember those?) and burning
your big toe's nail. He was soon off on
another tangent, talking about how his
friend went to a swinger's club, such as
"Sociables" or "Encounters," where people
go to get off. Couples receive a discount
because females are in short supply. Ben is
a motormouth at times and a narcoleptic:
at others.
There's so much shit to skate it's not even
funny. The only thing Phoenix lacks is a
good vert ramp, but there's a ghetto one
now (cracked PVC coping, anyone?) and
talk of a good one in the works. Pools are
plentiful and make up for the lack of ter-
mite vert.
Still, although I stand by my assertion
Clockwise from left:
Andy Levy opts for an
alley-oop frontside at
the Phoenix park.
Randy Colvin cruises
over the light and
deathbox. Try this at
home, dog!
Punker Matt pummels
a caveman lipslide.
Jimmy Moore, bean
to fakie in a backyard
pool? Hell yeah.
that the music scene is mostly sucky, life is
good. No rain many days to ride. Crews
into skating different shit always hang out
together and skate whatever comes up.
Jimmy, Randy, Cody, Colby, Brian, Farron,
Matt, Ish, Andy, Ramone, Kearny, Carroll,
Dutton, Wixon, Steve, Courtney, Travis,
Chad, BJ, Trent, John, Chris, all the Sub
Society, Cowtown, and AZP guys, you guys
fuckin' make it happen. Because of that,
you rule.
Oh yeah, have I mentioned the number of
incidents of police violence in the last
week? The newest trend is a phenomenon
known as suicide by cop. This is where
some guy wants to kill himself, so he starts
shooting at cops so that one of them will
return fire and kill him. Anyway, it's on the
rise in Phoenix. Y'all all come and visit
sometime, now, y'hear?!
HANDY
COLVIN
WHEN YOU
were younger, did you ever ride
a BMX bike?
Yeah, I used to ride a BMX bike.
Big deal.
So you were a BMXican?
Sure was. BMXican, every day.
What was it like having a board
with a big pussy on the bottom?
It was great. I didn't even need
to get tit mags; I could just open my
package and whack off.
What was the best thing
about having a big selling
model-makin' the loot, get-
tin' all the bitches?
Eating well, getting plane flights
whenever I wanted to, and skating.
I didn't really travel internationally,
but just to SF and LA, places like
that. It was cool; call up the secre-
tary and have a ticket waiting,
I when you got in trouble and had to
get outta here.
What's the most expensive thing
you've ever bought?
I bought a Vespa, and I bought
another scooter. I never bought
anything expensive. I just used to
drink a lot. My dad traded a scoot-
er to this place because they fixed
his lawnmower and he didn't have
any dough, so he just traded it. It
worked out well.
Where the fuck is all the loot
now, Colvinator?
Where's the loot? It's in my liver
and it's rotted. I'm dead.
Are you from Phoenix?
I'm from Bangladesh. I'm from
Iraq! Yeah, I'm from Phoenix.
Can you tell me a fucked up story
about the Muska?
I just remember he was a kid who
would come to every skate spot
and try the hardest trick. Just a
scroungy, scrubby dude who would
come to the wedge and try a 540°.
We were all, "What's he doing?" I
guess it paid off.
What's the most fucked up thing
that has ever happened to you?
I'm on probation for three years for
unlawful flight. I was coming home
from Paul Stapleton's skateboard
party, the cop flashed his lights, and
I thought he was going to pass me. I
went four or five miles, turned a cor-
ner, and there were like 20 cops and
a helicopter. But I didn't get a ticket
for any of that shit. That's the good
thing. I need to get a faster car.
Now that you have a girl and a
kid, will that be changing Randy
Colvin as we know him?
I'm sure it'll change me in some
Iways, but there really ain't no
change in me. I am who I am; we'll
see, I guess.
Who pukes the most out of any-
one you know?
Pig Pen. On command. He
puked on all these people at this
bar. It was great. Some guy was
buying drinks for everyone, and
he just ralphed on his chest.
Ralph Lauren on his chest.
What's up with 151?
Not much. They asked me to
skate for them and they wanted
to give me a pro model, but Chris
Swanson deserves it now. He's
putting more effort into it.
What kind of shit do you like to
ride on a day-to-day basis?
I like to ride backyard pools,
whatever. Whatever there is to
skate. Halfpipe beds.
What the hell happened to your
knee? When are you gonna be
back at it?
My knee is fine. I just stretched
my ligaments a little. But I'll be
skating in a month. It's cool; it gave
me time to hang out with my fami-
ly. It was a good clean break.
Tell me something fucked up
about Steve Rocco.
There ain't nothing fucked up
about him. He treated me good. He
let us do whatever we wanted. I
have no problem with him at all.
Steve, give me a call.
Who's coming up in AZ/Phoenix
right now?
1 don't think anyone is coming
up. They all suck. For real. I
wanna piss 'em all off. Cody Boat,
Brian McNair, one of the best
skaters in the world, automatic
loc, wherever. Chris Kelly. He'll
show up and rip.
What's the scariest thing you've
I ever done on a skateboard?
Switch kickflip? I don't know.
Are these questions stupid?
It would've been better if you and
I were hanging out, instead of over
the phone.
Tell me about the times when you
were a young punk kid causing a
ruckus. Does it ever stop?
No. I was a breakdancer, not a
punk. That's Punker Matt. But he
ain't really punk. He's pretty
weird. You'll be hanging out with
him, and you've got a couple
bucks, like, let's go get some
beer. He's like, hold on, lemme go.
to the ATM. What kind of punk is
that? I never heard about that shit
in my life.
Who's the shit right now in
skateboarding?
Mark Gonzales.
Who are you grateful to?
Who do I want to say hi to? Joey
Tershay, Julien, Cardiel, Sheffey,
the Girl guys, and my friends. They
know who they are.
Who do you hate?
I don't hate that many people.
When was the last time you jacked
off into someone's shampoo?
I haven't done that in a while. I
I can't get out of the house-I'm
on lockdown.
Who would you like to ride for if
you could?
Anti-hero. Swindle me in! Oh
yeah, I live with my girlfriend Billy
and my son Shayden.
83