Left to right: If Chad Muska had a dollar for every
ledge he's ground, he wouldn't need his new shoe contract.
Stair-ledge backside 50-50. Notorious nollier Cairo Foster
hoists one into a high-speed lipslide on a waist-high bar.
board looked brand new. Ed
thought it would be a fair waste
to get rid of that skateboard
like he was supposed to.
Instead he dropped off the
Italian boy's board at head-
quarters and decided to keep
Mike's for himself.
Ed went back to his apart-
ment and changed into what
he thought were his coolest
clothes: a Sizzler Ten Year
Anniversary Commemorative
t-shirt, a pair of neon pink
warm-up pants he hadn't worn
since the early eighties, and a
John Deere mesh hat that he
put on backwards for what he
thought would be a ladykiller
touch. He walked to the skate-
board store down the street
from his apartment. There, he
purchased a pair of skate-
boarding shoes, a how-to
skateboard video, a few shirts
with skateboard logos, a few
pairs of pants and, of course,
a ball cap to cover his bald
spot. Ed was content with his
new acquisitions.
Ed returned to his apartment
and popped the video into his
VCR. To his horror, the video
I was narrated by and starred
none other than Mike. Ed saw a
new side of his tormentor. In
fact, Ed thought that if he had.
never encountered Mike
before, he would have thought
him a very nice guy. Mike went
through about ten tricks, step
by step; at the very end he
warmed seriously to "watch
out for every cop" and then,
with a laugh, he exclaimed,
"Except for this one!" The
screen portrayed a clip of Ed
himself pulling up on the pier,
with a subtitle saying "Cop Of
The Year!" Ed felt pretty humil-
iated and furious...but found
himself laughing at the joke.
Ed knew what he had to do. He
drove to the station and quit,
right then and there.
d found skateboarding to
be the only thing he had
ever been good at. He
was a natural. He practiced for
hours on end in his parking
garage for a month until he could
do every trick in the video
including: ollie, kickflip, heelflip,
pop shove-it, 360° kickflip,
frontside 180 kickflip, backside
180 kickflip, half-Cab, 50-50,
frontside 5-0 grind, and a
frontside tailslide. Over that
month he lost 70 pounds, regrew
all his hair, and got married to a
at
nice lady he met while she was
jogging down
the
Embarcadero. Ed was alive again!
One day Ed skated down at
Pier 7. Mike didn't recognize
him. Ed impressed Mike so
much with his newly-developed
skill that later that day, Ed was
signed on to the Chocolate
team. From that day forth, Ed
and Mike became inseparable
best friends and they went on to
produce many how-to skate-
board videos together. And
everyone lived happily ever
after, except the owner of
Happy Donuts, who unfortu-
nately went out of business.
-Nick McGlibery
79