What do you tell kids when they ask you about
that monkey?
They ask me if it was nice or whatever. It's weird. They
think it's my pet or something. It's so gnarly that we did it.
How'd you get it?
Jay made some calls and talked to some people, and
found out where we could rent one for the day for doing
a movie scene. That one had been in other movies, so
we went down there and did it. As soon as the thing
came out, I was like, "Wow, this is really cool." The guy
me to be careful, because it's a wild animal.
was telling me to be
One time I was just sitting there and it came up and was
seriously pinching and grabbing my leg so hard. It made
me almost scared to even do it at all, feeling the
strength
of this thing. It was like "When Animals Attack." It
was sketchy.
They h
have digital footage of it laying out in
the grass, because it was so hot. The thing was seriously
getting mad. The owner was trying to tell it what to do,
like screaming at it, an animal abuse type situation. It
was all sprawled out in the grass, so bummed. Being any-
where near the monkey made me feel like it was gonna
jump up and maul me. No, it's not a pet, and no, I don't
want to deal with one again.
Who are your favorite skaters, past and present?
When you're young, street skating, there are a few typ-
ical favorites, you know? Like Matt Hensley, the Gonz, of
course. But now, I like Tom Penny's skating, and... I
always think of people, but now I can't.
I know you're doing what you want to do, but what
sucks about your present life?
Everything's cool and fun; nothing really sucks too bad.
What about being stranded on Warner Avenue?
That sucks. Sometimes it's boring, I guess. Boredom is
DAS
Above: If you're a girl looking at this sequence of a
half-cab crooks on a handrail and thinking, "Golly,
that trick is awesome on so many levels. I wish I had
a cute turtle-headed boyfriend to talk about it with,"
we may just be able to play matchmaker.
Below: Hubba feels the pain of Andrew's backside
5-0 180° out.
probably the worst part.
What bothers you about kids you meet
on tour?
Sometimes they don't even really know
who you are and they ask you to sign
things. You're like, "What's my name?" and
y go, "I don't know." It's just like, you
they
want my autograph and you don't even
know who I am? Or straight away, first
thing, "Can I have this? Can I have that?"
All I know is when I was little, I didn't see
that many pros, but I would never, ever go
up 1 to one and ask them for something. I
was scared to even talk to them, much less
ask them if I could have something of theirs..
That's weird. Kids just want, want, want. A
lot of f kids you meet are super cool. You
can tell the ones who just like skating
and have it together, but you can tell
the ones who are freaks.
Were you taken aback the first
time you met crazy sluts at demos?
There aren't any crazy sluts at demos I
to.
go
. I wish there were.
How did Ed's whole Turtle Boy graphic
series come about?
I went on this tour with him and Geoff
Rowley, and one day he's looking at me.
and drawing all I these crazy comics, and I
was just reading it, seriously laughing
uncontrollably. When I first met Ed
Templeton, and still now, but when I first
met him and we were hanging out, he
would make me laugh more than anyone. I
thought he was the funniest guy. He would
show me these comics and he made these
crazy characters-Geoff was this little
beaver. Ever since then he's had that char-
acter for me.
So you never get mad about it?
No o way. I love it. It's funny.
What's your favorite one?
The one with an axe and a money sign.
I like the one where he's going, "I'm
gonna be big time."
Or the one in the ad where he has this
shirt that says "Tampa." He said he was
gonna try to put "Lakeland" on it but he
couldn't.
Have you ever had a girlfriend who skates?
No.
missing out. Give me an example. What do
you do?
I have the same problem. I don't like to
do anything. I like to work, and when I'm
not working I sit around thinking about
when I get to go to work. Some people
know how to play the guitar, and they're
really into that, or whatever.
Maybe I will later on when I can't ride my
board anymore. Who knows?
Have you ever been attacked by a gimp?
What? No!
Have you ever attacked a gimp? Ever
been surprised by a gimp?
Oh shit, how'd you know about that?
Yeah, one time a gimp snuck in my room
"Being anywhere near the monkey made me
feel like it was gonna jump up and maul me"
Would you be into a girl who likes to
skate, or do you want a girl just to do
girl things?
No, I'd be into it.
What if she was a hardcore girl who
skated and she was always getting
gnarly hippers and asking you about
switch
crooked grinds and shit?
I'd be like, "Yeah, that's good!" Maybe
that's what I need. I don't do anything.
besides skate: I don't h
skate; I don't have any
other interests, so imagine that.
Only questions about switch
crooks all night, that'd be fine.
What's one thing you're good
besides skateboarding?
Being lazy and not doing any-
thing. I used to do a lot of art
when I was younger, but now, I
haven't been doing it. I don't
have many other hobbies.
Do you ever
ever feel like you're
missing out by not doing
anything but skating and
hanging out?
at
Well, I don't know. If I had
some experience one time that
was so fun, doing something
else, then I'd be like, "Oh, this is
good, I want to do this more
often." Then I'd realize I was
real late, and-
Where'd this gimp come from?
From the wizard. The wizard created this
gimp. He tapped his magic wand a little bit
and he appeared in the living room.
What was the gimp dressed like?
A Birdhouse sticker on his dick and a
black trashbag on his head.
Is he the gimp from 411?
Yeah. Same guy. . But listen. Brian Sumner's
instigating so much torture. Picture this: a
big Evian bottle, full, like a weapon. And
I'm here sleeping, fed up with the noise,
and he comes hauling in here. I got up and
I tried to take his head off.
So you smacked the gimp?
Yeah.
Was he damaged?
Sort of. I was rudely awoken, so... I came
out afterwards and kicked him out and
made him walk home.
Where does a gimp like that live?
I don't know. Costa Mesa or something.
Have you ever attacked anyone with a
broom handle?
A ruler. I had these Star Wars underwear
in elementary school, and one time some
older kids were making fun of it, and they
were all there in front of me, so I pulled
out this little ruler and smacked them
across the face with it.
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