Warning: Material might not be suitable
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thought. "Those are the last things
that he would want me to have.
Those he would want to go to his
friend Don, but not for free. No
sir." Burger's dad and Don quar-
reled constantly.
Burger's mood changed. He was
of emotion. Don hugged Burger to Burger wasn't gonna just sit
try and comfort him. Burger broke there and take that. "Hey Don,
free from Don. His focus was the check out that rifle. It's a nice
guns which were in the trunk. "If one. I can't believe four hun-
anything, Don, my dad wouldn't dred's all you're gonna give me
want just anybody having his guns. for all these guns."
I know that the both of you spent Don fished around in the trunk,
getting a
urger picked his nose steadily
most of his life. The day he
stopped was when his father
died. His dad seemed like a
very organized man; Burger no longer sad. What am I saying? a lot of time
was surprised that his old man had Of course he was still sad; he had collecting
never planned for the end. No cas- just lost his father. But he no guns
ket ordered,
no resting spot longer was in a dilemma about
reserved. No nothing. When how to come up with money. The
Burger spoke to the man at the trunk of his dad's car was filled
funeral parlor he began to get with just about every single
upset at how expensive it was to firearm which his father owned.
die. He felt pissed off 'cause his Burger drove over to Don's house.
garage. Burger stayed in the car
and waited for Don to come over
dad left him no money. No money When he pulled up the drive he
at all. He couldn't believe it. He could see Don working in the
loved his dad and wanted the best
for him. A nice casket, a beautiful
stone, flowers, a cemetery that
would be looked after properly.
Those were the thoughts that
went through his mind, not some
false friendly guy with glasses giv-
ing him several different choices to
choose from.
Don said, "I'm not sure, but if I
were you I wouldn't sell it."
Burger's eyes were glued to the
pistol. Then Don messed up; he
kept insisting that Burger not sell
the gun.
Suddenly
it
hit
Burger.
"OK," Burger said. Don dropped inside; that didn't take long at all, the air and away from his hips and
his cigarette butt on the floor and not longer than thirty minutes. He told the gentleman, "No, I'm sorry,
went inside. Burger sat there lean- paid his cash, signed some papers, sir. I would have carried the gun in
ing against the back bumper. He and received his father's ashes. the case it came in but I-"
began to whistle that tune from Now over to Harvey's Guns and The security guard interrupt-
the Andy Griffith show, then Ammo shop to sell the old Colt ed Burger by saying, "It's all
finally Don came out. He Classic. The sound of the car start- right," and pulled the Colt
short.
had all the money, not one ing up stuck in Burger's mind as he Classic from his waistband. He
pulled out of checked to see if it was loaded
the
cent
yourtoes④
✓ bust your nose tickle your toes ④
to him. Well, Don did. His first together, so I know he'd want
words were, "Hey Burger," fol- you to have 'em, Don."
lowed by a tossed cigarette butt
and, "where's the old man?"
"No," Burger said, "my dad
don't know." Burger was in
shock. "Yeah, I mean, he wants
me to sell 'em."
Burger was gonna sell them to
him. Well, the nerve of Burger.
Don was pissed. He looked into the
trunk with a stiff lip and a scowl.
"Garbage," Don said.
Burger was surprised. Just a sec-
ond ago this guy Don, his father's
friend, was giving him a hug, and
now he was calling his father's fire-
power garbage. "Why?" Burger
didn't know why.
A story by
Mark Gonzales
Burger picked up the cheap gun
and looked at it. "How come you
don't want this one?"
"I couldn't take 'em." His hand, better look at what was there. He
was up at his chest-a real humble came across a cheapie six-shooter
Burger got out of the car and gesture. Keep in mind it's only a that he had sold to Burger's dad a
didn't answer. He opened the gesture that Don is doing 'cause he long time ago. Don remembered
trunk. Don plopped another ciga- believed that Burger was gonna the incident well; he told Burger's
"Well," the man with the glasses rette into his mouth and proceed- give him his father's guns for free. dad it was a Colt collectible but it
said, "according to the financial ed to light it while wondering But once Burger relayed to Don wasn't. Don turned the gun over
form which you've filled out, the what was going on. Burger that he would rather sell them to and checked to see if the fake Colt
most seemingly
appropriate stepped away from the trunk as him than have to go to a gun show emblem was still there; it was. Now
option for you would be to have Don looked in. Don recognized where he would get taken advan- that the man he had gypped was
your father cremated. Everything everything inside the trunk. After tage of 'cause he wasn't too sure dead, he felt bad. He quickly set
here at this funeral home is done all, Burger's dad and Don were what the guns were really worth, that gun aside, apart from the oth-
very properly. If you wish to wit- partners, so they did share with the hand came away from his chest ers. He grabbed hold of the rifle
ness the cremation it is possible. one another what new guns they pretty quickly. Don felt upset quickly. "You're absolutely right,
However, only five persons are had acquired or which ones they 'cause he felt he was deserving of Burger; this rifle is nice." Don
allowed to be present due to the would be letting go of. So most Burger's father's guns. And here examined it well, maybe 'cause he
capacity of the area where the cre- everything in the trunk was famil-
was really interested in the rifle or
mations take place. Or, if you wish iar to Don. "What are you doing
maybe to take his mind off the
not to be present, this too is fine. with your dad's guns, Burger?"
dud. "OK, " Don said while setting
However, upon acceptance of your "I'm n selling them," Burger said.
the rifle back into its case and into
father's ashes you will be required
Don looked confused. "Does
the trunk again. "I'll give you five
by law to give a signature stating your dad know?"
hundred for all of them except
that you chose not to be present."
that one." Don pointed over to the
Burger sat there listening to this
fake Colt.
freak spew on and on. All he could
think about was the absence of his
old man. Burger left the place in a
downer than down mood. He
drove through stop signs and
paused at greens. When he got to
his bank he cashed his check. His
rent was three seventy five. Now "I was gonna bury them with
with that and the cost of cremat- my dad." Burger became silent.
ing it would leave him broke. His nose started to run and his
Maybe he could sell his father's eyes got watery. He was crying
furniture. No, no. That was just a the way tough guys cry, barely
thought that passed quickly. noticeable. Don could tell how
Getting rid of anything that disturbed Burger was. He put a
belonged to his old man kinda hand on his shoulder.
seemed like a bad omen. He got Don spoke softly. "Well," blow-
restless with different ways to ing some smoke out, "it's okay.
make money. None seemed appro- Burger, you know your old man
priate. Then like lightning from stopped coming around here once
the sky it hit Burger. He had the his health got bad. He was the
perfect idea. He would go to see type of guy who had a lot of
his father's best friend Don. But pride." Burger nodded his head in
not before going home and col- agreement. "He wasn't the type to
lecting all of his father's firearms. admit he needed help. He never
"This is perfect," Burger said to wanted help from anybody."
himself as he gathered all of Burger wiped his nose with the
the guns. "If there is anything my collar of his shirt. "I know," Burger
dad would want me to sell, it said. He began to cry more. He was
would be his guns," Burger filled with a tremendous amount the same as I'm offering you."
Don backed away from the
trunk, suspicious. Burger had to
come up with something fast. He
could tell that Don wanted no part
of what was going on.
Then Don spoke up. "Your old
man knew he was gonna die. All
this is garbage. He must have
sold all the good stuff before
he'd be gone.
Burger looked into the trunk.
"You think so, Don?"
"Your dad wasn't dumb.".
The two of them sat there look-
ing into the trunk. Burger asked,
"Well, how much do you think all
this is worth?"
Don said, "I'll give you four
hundred."
Don got nervous for a second but
he was cool. He thought of himself
as a swift guy, able to get out of
just about any situation.
"Why don't you want it?"
Don said in a very confident
voice, very assuring, "That there is
a Colt Classic. Your father loved
that gun; he would want you to
have it."
Burger smiled big. He knew that
his father didn't think of him as a
normal man. I mean, Burger was a
normal man; he just wasn't too
Burger thought to himself he was trustworthy. He was a little too
surprised 'cause he overheard his happy, like a big kid that didn't
dad not longer than a month ago have self-control. A gun was
talking to someone over the always something that Burger's
phone saying that he spent five father warned him not to mess
hundred on a particular rifle. with. . But now his dad's best friend
"Yeah, four hundred," Don said.
"You can take them to some gun
shops that will hold them on con-
signment or to a pawn shop but
I'm pretty sure you'll get just about
Don was telling him that this Colt
was his father's favorite and he
would want Burger to have it.
Burger was still smiling and look-
ing at the black pistol. "How much
is this one worth?" Burger asked.
funeral and then handed the piece to
home's park- Burger and told him when he
ing lot. He left the store to be sure to ask
drove over to for a sack. Burger played along
Harvey's. He like he wasn't stupid. "Of
kept glancing course I should have had the
to his gun concealed in sack," he
father's ashes. thought. "Any kind of sack.
"So, that's would have done." Damn him,
what's left of why didn't he know this? He
over
Burger collect- my old man-a box of ash." walked up to the counter.
ed the cash and Burger's mind was definitely some- There were about four men
stuffed it into his place else. It took loud screeching behind the counter, all busy
He remembered when his dad first front pocket. Don collected the sounds of tires skidding to bring with customers. Burger sat
got the old Colt Classic. He ques- guns and they said their goodbyes him back to reality. Just two more there with the pistol resting in
tioned Don, "Didn't you sell this to one another.
blocks and he would be at the palm of his hand; he felt
gun to my old man?"
Burger was now on his way to Harvey's. "Jesus, if I could just con- like a moron but it was the only
Don's face turned red. "Oh, no, the funeral home to pay for the centrate on driving," he thought way to hold the gun without it
no. God no. I don't believe I've cremation. After that he planned to himself. After the close call, at looking as though he was plan-
ever seen a gun quite like that." on dropping by Harvey's Guns and the next red light Burger put the ning on using it. Finally a
He reached for the pistol. Burger Ammo shop to see just how much box of ashes into the back seat of younger dude about his
handed it over with no problem. the Colt Classic would bring in. If it the car. Maybe now he wouldn't that was working the floor told
Don looked at it closely and acted brought in a lot, he thought about be so distracted.
Burger it would be OK to set
amazed. "See, this gun might actu- taking a mini trip to Hawaii to When he got to Harvey's, Burger the gun on the carpeted display
ally have been used in a stage- spread his father's ashes over a was quick to park and get out. He case to the left while he waited
coach robbery or two." Burger had nice place. Those were the opened the trunk of the car and for assistance. Burger did just
age
a small grin. "Yeah, I bet this Colt thoughts going through Burger's grabbed hold of the Colt Classic. that and thanked the guy. The
would pull in a pretty penny." head as he pulled into the funeral He shoved it into the waistband of guy smiled and said, "No prob-
Then Burger's smile grew big. He parlor's parking lot. Before he got his pants so it would be secure. He lem." He could tell that Burger
was gonna sell it 'cause he knew out of the car and went into the didn't think of it as a concealed was in unfamiliar territory.
his dad didn't want him messin' funeral home, he sat there a weapon; he only thought it was Burger noticed that one of the
with guns. When Don handed the moment just to see if he had every- the safest place for it. Burger four men behind the counter
Colt back to Burger, he said aloud, thing in order. He looked for a pen entered Harvey's and when he did was no longer busy. He stepped
"See, that there a classic. That's 'cause he knew that he was gonna a metal detector went off. The up to be helped.
the kind of gun you wanna keep in have to sign some important legal security guard at the door asked
papers. Now Burger if he had a piece on him.
the family and hand it down from
generation to generation."
Burger smiled and said in a con-
fident voice even though he knew
he was gonna sell it, "Oh, yeah,
keep it in the family, definitely."
He was having Don on; he knew
guns were not for him.
Don gave Burger a wink
and a pat on the back.
"You're a smart kid,
Burger. Now let me go in
and get your cash."
he was set.
He went
Burger said, "Yeah."
The man asked, "Do you have a
license to carry a concealed
weapon on you?"
Burger felt the danger he was in,
so he put his hands slightly into
Working-class funeral procession with mutes, feather-tray, and six horses for the hearse. England, late nineteenth century.
Mix in the ash when the lead is wet.
62 THRASHER
63