ON
DARD
BOARD
Taking me-Marcus McBride
Age: 18
Height: 5' 11"
Spot: Embarcadero
Trick: Frontside 180° kickflip
Sponsors: World Industries,
Independent, FTC
Influence: Sean Sheffey
Girls: Sex
Music: Hip-hop
Hates: People who think they're better
than other people
Loves: Life
Props: The original Embarcadero posse.
you know who you are
Books: Nah, I don't read books
Advice: Just handle yours
Future: One day at a time
Q What's the difference between
pussy and mashed potatoes
A: Mashed potatoes don't make
their own gravy
-Howie Feltersnotch,
Port Aransas, TX
10 REASONS WHY SKATERS RULE
After years of abusing their bod-
ies, most skaters eventually ask
themselves. "Is it really worth it!"
My answer is a loud, "Fuck, yeah!"
And below I've compiled a list of abil-
ities skateboarders acquire over
time. Give it a once over, and I'm
sure you'll agree they all come in
handy at one time or another...
1. Ability To Cope With Pain:
Part of the learning process of skate-
boarding is falling on your ass. Remember
the very first time you stepped on a skate-
beard? If you stick with it for long enough
and/or get reasonably good at riding.
you're going to be paying dues. Most skaters
I know have at least one broken bone to
their name, not to mention the numerous
less serious injuries that plague our kind.
Whether it's a persistent swelbow, a bro
ken toe, knee blowout, or skull bongo, if
you can't take the pain, you won't stick with
it for long (and consequently probably won't
be reading this...)
2. Ability To Make Friends In
Other Places:
If you've ever taken a road trip for any
length of time, you realize what a valuable
skill it can be to be able to show up at
some bumfuck town's pitiful excuse for a
skatepark, exchange a few words with the
locals, and wind up with floorspace. This
also works the other way around. You
should always be willing to help out skaters
in transit because you never know when
the roles will be reversed. If you ever
have too much trouble finding somewhere
to stay, you'd better face the fact that
you're probably just a squid.
3. Ability To Deal With Cops:
Being able to size up a "situation"
before it turns into a "problem" is key, but
ANFUL TRUTH
CLACKAMAS
Sunnyside Road bank robber
flees scene on skateboard
A man who robbed the Wells
Fargo Bank branch at 12072 S.E.
Sunnyside Road on Wednesday
made his getaway on a skateboard
Witnesses said they saw him rolling
down the sidewalk with a black
backpack containing his loot slung
over his back.
The man walked into the bank at
about 11 am. wearing a red ski
mask and a gray, hooded sweatshirt.
The teller told police that at first she
thought it funny because it was too
warm outside for a ski mask. The
robber waved a pistol and told the
Woman, "This is not a joke."
Then he forced bank employees
into the vault while he robbed one
ter. He escaped with
closed amount of money: One
dis
s said the man was wearing dirty
clothes and mirrored sunglasses. He
had long blond hair.
NORTH BA
when the law appears, you'd better know what to
do or say. A 300-pound porko will never catch an
agile skater, but if surrounded by Rambo look-a-
likes, with no outs, you'd better figure out that a
bit of politeness might get you out of a
ticket/fine/jail. Security guards, however, are usu-
ally wannabe cops that have failed and therefore
have a chip on their shoulder. They deserve no
respect at all and should be abused accordingly.
4. Ability To Detect Prime Architecture At
A Distance From A Fast Moving Vehicle:
It doesn't matter if you're going down to the
hardware store with pops or going to the drive-in
with your date, Suzy, skaters are always scanning
the region for new or overlooked architecture.
5. Ability To Rage Harder Than Most:
Who's always up latest having fun, or, as others
see it, causing problems? Who can drink more
beer than a roomful of armchair quarterbacks on
Superbowl Sunday? The answer is obvious and
may have something to do with the fear of severe-
ly getting fucked with if you pass out...
6. Determination, Gumption, Wherewithal,
And Ability To Find What You're Looking For:
Whether you're the Screaming Lord, him-
self, going up in a helicopter to find the latest
batch of pools, or a random rat crisscrossing
side streets and back alleys in search of the
bank that a friend of a friend's brother's girl-
friend thought she saw, innovation and deter-
mination are key characteristics.
7. Ability To Appreciate Style:
Whether it be laughing at a Steve Schneer
frontside air or gaping in awe at Chris Miller or
one of Rune Glifberg's tailgrabs, skateboarders
know style. Finesse will always be a style subject,
but so will many others like pool playing, cigarette
smoking, and, I swear, I even heard someone talk
about style after watching a traffic accident.
8. Ability To Go Higher, Bigger, Farther:
Never satisfied with merely adequate, there's
always another level. Progression is a staple, and
Woman Sucked Into
Lake Berryessa Spillway
Napa-Emily Schwalek, 41, of
Davis was killed Sunday when she
was sucked down a spillway at the
Monticello Dam at Lake Berryessa
The spillway, which drops
straight down more than 200 feet,
is known as the Glory Hole. I
routes excess water from the lake
down an 8-foot-wide pipe.
Authorities said witnesses re
ported seeing Schwalek swimming
toward the spillway at about 6.30
pm. Sunday."
The woman dropped out of
hole for about 20 minutes, witness
sight after gripping the edge of the
es said. There has never been a
documented case of anyone else
falling through the Glory Hole,
said Don Burbey of the Solano Irri
gation District.
The FBI is investigating the RANCISCO
crime.
life is boring without it. Even
mundane things like jumping off
the diving board at the local
swimming spot become events
unparalleled. (see number 1)
9. Ability To Laugh In The
Face Of Danger:
Faced with a Bronto-gap
or a 15 foot pool, someone's
gonna do it. All it takes is over-
coming that fear, taking the
extra push, and going for it. This
may also explain why I've seen
some of the scrawniest skaters
get the better of gorilla-necked
jocks during altercations. Take it
as a blessing
10. Ability To Bear Inhuman
Circumstances:
Try taking a road trip for
longer than a week, packing up a
car with skaters, and skating con
tinuously for days, often without
a shower, proper diet, too much
beer, and not enough sleep.
Situations that would make a
green beret wet his pants are
easily overcome by the hardy
breed of skaters.-Wez Lundry
5
1. Markovich 2 Wray 3. Cardiel 4. Thomas 5. Penny -Howie Feltersnatch, Port Aransas, TX
Gnarly
Greats
With
Guts
dos
132
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