TRASH
JUNK DEALERS
James "Jimmy the Fitz" Fitzpatrick.
executive director of the International
Association of Skateboard Companies, has
been busy at the Ventura Ramplex where it
seems he is working out a new site specific
competitive format. Talk abounds regarding a
possible IASC sponsored Manufacturer's Cup
type of event which would feature head-to-
head skate-offs between teams of skaters
who own, run, and work at skateboard com-
panies. A certain SF company known for its
hard-line stance is reportedly lobbying hard to
see this happen as it is said are Chris Miller
and Jim Gray.
SUE NAMI
scrutiny of
the tow surf
intellengentsia
and witnessed
by several of
the interna-
tional aquatic
press corps best.
Joel dropped into a huge
screamer unassisted and rode it. He did it
well and he did it sans jet skis, ropes, motors
and egocentric fanfare. When it was over, our
man just split saying little. Some veteran.
Hawaiian historians are already calling it the
move of the decade.
SUE SHE
Are Mic-E Reyes and Tommy Guerrero
preparing a joint art show for a Tokyo Japan
venue? Can Nippon skate aficionados Nishi.
Jun Bug and Takuji Masuda also be
involved? Is Reyes in the process of producing
a prototype art watch with Casio?
shoes lately. Could these innovative mini
Kiddy Cab Vans be baby shoes? Is this the
onslaught of a novel product line and/or is
there an announcement about future genera-
tions in the offing?
The much feared and dreaded Big Brother
mag is now said to be the property of the
lubricious Larry Flynt. Apparently, the Hustler
publicist just couldn't live without everyone's
favorite "zine. Will Natas be slid into the
design helm soon? As previously mentioned,
James Thiebaud was seen touring the facili-
ty igniting endless speculation about his sign-
ing on. Regarding Steve Rocco, the former.
Big Brother kingpin is said to be readying an
eco-friendly combat sport camp on the rustic
isle of Lanai.
TRIBAL AGENT
Longboard stylist Leo Zuluetta was seen
hooking up his irregularly recurring friend
Dennis Rodman with the inside lowdown
on the Silverlake banks. Reportedly. Rodman's
POSERS OF THE MONTH
When he turned his back
on a lucrative potential pro-
fessional surfing career in
order to devote himself to
the serious study of the art
of carpentry, people won-
dered if the lad wasn't a bit
bent. The time he allegedly
violated the cinder ash sur-
faces of the live volcano
Krakatoa with a snowboard,
environmentalists around.
the globe blamed him for
creating an ecological holo-
caust. His skate odyssey to
the aboriginal center of the
universe where he sessioned
a perfect natural stone bowl
near Ayers Rock upset even
the normally unflappable
Australians. So, no one was
really too surprised when Oz
miscreant Joel Fitzgerald
returned to Hawaii's North Shore and rocked
the status quo of the world surf scene by
demonstrating some major sack at all of the
Poser: Taylor Slayer
Crime: Wackside Boneless
Sentence: Sunburn
standard legendary
big wave spots.
However, when
Fitzgerald pad
dled into the
midst of an off-
shore, giant
wave, power-
assisted tow in
surf session.
things really
got out of hand.
Under the
MAG WHEELS
MTV entourage was so large
and fearsome that even the
LAPD kept at bay. The previ-
ously discussed neo tribal tat
Leo inked on the NBA player
supposedly so pleased
Dennis that he's now think-
ing of commissioning a full
body wrap
And the crossover tactical
maestro Tumbleweed has
been lately outfitting movie
man Robin Williams with
the latest in skate tech
hardware. Ancell's name is
no longer spoken in polite
society since he and artist
Sandow Birk conspired
together on elements of an
art show depicting the
destruction of the City by
the Golden Gate. Obvious in
their culpability in these
canvases devoted to the
coming class war were num-
bers of skate riders. It is believed that
Tumbleweed aka "Kevin" has departed to "a
sacred island several hundred miles towards
the edge of the Japanese archipelago" with
Mace Huellit
Poser: Aaron Morenz
Crime: Pickup 52/50
Sentence: 50 lashes with a seatbelt
TWS guru Kevin Kinnear put an end to
any ugly rumors about staff inbreeding when
he and Worldly production head Shaun
Rogers recently got married. At a bag pipe
scored ceremony on the North Coast, the pair
proved that love will find a way even under
the most adverse of conditions. Imagine.
everyone's shock at that magic moment when
the bride and groom in training looked up
after working on hundreds of issues together
"and suddenly discovered each other." It
bludgeons into oblivion such sentimental
slime as Romeo and Juliet.
Shoe designer Steve Caballero has been
observed fondling some suspicious small
Elissa Steamer contemplates going pro at the ASR.
GERBIL TRAIL
Weasel rancher Paul Zuanich has
become rather obsessive as of late with his
current passion, the betterment of animal
husbandry. Purportedly. Z now regularly
makes eight-hour speed runs to the state of
Nevada to score prime breeding stock fer-
rets. Paul is in, out, and down the road so
fast because he reportedly "doesn't want to
disrupt the mating cycle." Life as a thor-
SCAB FARM
Growing scabs is catching on across America. Trendsetters Uncle
Bart and J Scott Stalling show off their harvests. Whether homegrown
or cultivated in your backyard, these babies could last a lifetime.
oughbred ferret trainer is so splendidly
bountiful that Zuanich is now piloting a 912
Porsche that closely resembles Lance
Dawes' old one.
That proselytizer of the sea Greg "Da
Bull" Noll just celebrated his 60th birthday
in Hawaii at Waimea Bay. His party was host-
ed by Henry Preece and Buffalo, and sev-
eral hundred converged on this spot to cele
brate Noll's life and times. Present were a
bunch of modern types including Jay Adams
and son, the Kalamas, Brian K. Chuck
King, Luke Adler, Mike Stevenson, Peter
Pope, Rabbit Kekai, Honey Bear, Jimbo
Blears, Jock Sutherland, Tak Kawahara,
Jeff Hackman, and Freddy Hemmings. In
appreciation of the aloha spirit, Greg gifted
his hosts with custom R Noll longskates and
live octopus.
BEACH BREAK
Elsewhere deep in the mag trench wars it
is whispered that Tony Hawk's alliance with
Surfer Publication's proposed resurrected title
Skateboarder has ruffled a few feathers. The
line of reasoning that Hawk should be united.
with his sibling Steve, a surfer executive,
seems not to play around Califas del Sur. It is
said that a particular truck company is upset
that their longtime associate would "go into
competition against them." A faxed memo on
a quality skate magazine's purported letter-
head warns potential Skateboarder collabora-
tors of the ominous consequences of partici-
pation in the unholy endeavor. Even the kindly
artiste Thomas Campbell seems to have
been ousted over this nonsense. The sole win-
ner in this sorry fracas is photographer
Steve Sherman, who has apparently been
the recipient of lucrative compensation for his
loyalty to the mag Surfing. He's doing so well
that he is even getting married.
CLASS ACT
Among talk regarding the continued:
dominance in certain quarters of the classic
Independent franchise has been heard the
plausible speculation that original Indy man
Doctor Rick Blackhart may be involved
in the engineering phase of future product.
As we recall, didn't Rick throw down the
proto Blackhart truck just before he jour-
neyed into Formula Super V racing? In the
past few weeks, the Dr has been seen in
the heated bowels of the Indy foundry
conferring with Joey Tershay and
the powers that be.
The Guinness Book of World
Records is considering the inclu-
sion of Julien Stranger. John
Cardiel, Jake Phelps, and
Bob Burnquist's recent
Australian skate parkabout
on their list of all-time.
accomplishments. After
they started counting the
foursome rode 53 parks in
19 days.
The morality play of
the EMB continues. The
long ago deceased former
skate spot continues to
suffer indignities as
squads of well-heeled.
ever-buff in-liners roll
daily atop well-waxed
curbs never to be hassled by the police.
Meanwhile, at dozens of other current
skate spots, it is harassment as usual
for M Carroll, Sanchez, Ibaseta.
and scores of other ugly boarders who
excel at the act of architectural appro-
priation and appreciation.
LITTLE LEAGUE
The just passed Action Sports Retailer
Trade Expo in Long Beach was the loca-
tion of the very suspicious disappearance
of several US Mail bags full of letters peti-
tioning the California legislature to desig-
nate skateboarding as a dangerous activi-
ty. The stolen mail was taken from inside
the locked IASC hospitality suite during
the show. There was some discussion of
the theft being the result of a concentrated
effort on the part of a lawyer's advocacy
organization which is said to be very much.
opposed to the sport's inclusion on the list.
Would lawyers turn to crime to protect
their abundant profits? IASC czar
Fitzpatrick is said to be working with
Postal Authority agents in an attempt to
recover the missing mail.
LAST LINES
"If you break it down to the truth, there's very
few actual skater-owner operators. There are
far more toys than boys." -Keith Cochrane
"Chicks love skaters. That's why I don't get no
pussy-Glant
"If they gave EMB back, no one would even
want it. Life has moved on." -Greg Carroll
"Use a board, go to
jail. Use a blade, cut
your own throat."
-Rick Blackhart
Lennie Kirk reads the other Bible
122 THER