ON
DNIHOS
EVENTS
BOARD
MEPHISTO PREDICTS FUN BOX
+ Jamie Thomas designs Monorail TM trucks specifically engi-
neered for 120 stair quadruple kinks.
+ Jerry Fowler still can't get a sponsor.
+ Steve Olson doses thirty tabs and never comes down.
+ Ed and Deanna break up
+ Catamaraning double sets becomes the rage.
+ People quit skating when guidance counselors, teachers, and cops
think it's cool.
† San Francisco gets its skatepark.
+ Step in bindings are out - electromagnetic bindings are in.
Alan "Ollie" Gelfand is embalmed and displayed in the Smithsonian.
+ Skaters are paid by trick.
+ Andy MacDonald gets his own shoe and nobody cares
+ Mike Vallely and Sean Sheffey box in Vegas for a million dollar purse and
Pancho Moler referees.
↑ Single bearing wheels re-appear.
+ Red Dragons take over the world.
Phil Shao comes back with a vengeance.
+ Salba skates another backyard pool.
+ A skater run national contest format comes to fruition.
+ Hubba Hideout gets bombed by terrorists and is destroyed.
CIRCUS OF THE STARS
SKATEBOARDING INVITATIONAL
LOCATION: Vegas, Baby
DATE: Just before sunrise
BATTLE OF THE
BOSTICKS
LOCATION: In-Line Village
DATE: Constantly
HARD COCK CAFE
BIG AIR BLOWJOB
LOCATION: Bangkok, Thailand
DATE: Between erections
PIER 7 PRIMP-OFF
LOCATION: Pier 7
DAT: Whenever you roll
out of bed
HIT LIST
1. MORMONS
2. COPS
3. SHAKEBOARDERS
4. COACHES
5. ARMED FORCES
RECRUITMENT OFFICERS
6. YOU
-B Rubble, NY, NY
FIRING LINE-ANIMAL CHIN
124TH
DOB: 5000 BC
Q What's "6.0
A: Give up? It's 69 ruined by a period
Q: What's the square root of 697
A: Ate-something.
Q How do you make five pounds of
fat look good?
A: Put a nipple on it
Q: What's the difference between a
microwave and a woman?
A: A microwave doesn't scream when
you put a piece of meat in it.
Q: Why are eskimos and Ziploc
baggies alike?
A: They both like a tight seal!
Q: Why was Frosty smiling?
A: He saw the snowblower coming.
Q How do you make your wife
scream after an orgasm?
A: Wipe your dick on the curtains.
Q: What's hard and hairy on the out-
side, soft and white in the middle, that
starts with a C and ends with a T?
A: A coconut.
Middle Name: "By the hair of my Chinny Chin"
Height: 4'3"
Shoe Size: Ten toes
Weight: 10 Stone
First Good Axe: Black Knight
Family: The world is my family
Travels: Wherever there's a good session
Hates: Racism, bigotry, cold pizza
Likes: Fun, ladies, sun
Favorite Non-Skater: George Powell
Influences: Piltdown Man, the Tasadi.
Favorite Trick: Great Wall Rides
First Trick: Inventing skateboarding
Last Trick: Benihana
Past: Obscurity
Future: Immortality
Advice: "Save the planet, kill yourself"
-Whit I Sism, San Dimas, CA
5
Greats
1. Lisa Marie Presley
2. John Travolta
3. Tom Cruise
4. Jason Lee
5. L. Ron Hubbard
-N Kidman, Bolton, WY
Poet's Corner
Earth Love
Red, green, pink, blue,
None of these are wrong.
Why can't we all just get along?
Black, White, Chinese, Jew,
Even the rollerbladers, too.
I love everyone.
Pass the gun.
-P Moresweat, Bloomington, IA
dos
818.700.2538
Style: Stealth
Colors: Black, Brown
S
DVS Shoe Co. is: Jabian Alomar Chico Brenes Daniel Castillo Tim Gavin Keenan Milton
Richard Mulder Eric Pupecki Gabriel Rodriguez Sean Sheffey Daewon Song Jeron Wilson.