Hi kiddies, it's me, Devil ManTM, along with my trusty
sycophant, Flame BoysTM, here to make you a little
offer. Here's the deal: I want your soul.
UN
First of all, Flame Boy, you're already
dead, that's why you're in Hell.
But Boss, won't
they need their
souls if they wanna
go to Heaven?
That's
where I
wanna go
when I
die.
And second
of all,
Heaven's not
all it's cracked
up to be.
Say Boss,
there's some-
thing I've been
meaning ta ask
you. What's a
sycophant?
Elementary
my dear
Flame Boy-
A sycophant
is a sniveling.
groveling,
brown-nosed
little ass-
kisser.
That's me!
Flame Boy, even a dimwit like you can see that Hell is by far
the best place to retire. Just look at all the fun to be had.
And remember, in Hell there
is only one rule, and that is
that there are no rules!
I should know, I used to live there.
You used ta live in Heaven,
Boss? I didn't know you
used ta live there.
Well, Flame
Boy, being an
idiot, there's a lot
of things you
don't know. Now
shut up and
direct your
attention to
the adjacent
"flashback" panel.
HEAVEN
You see, back when I lived up there, I tried to
make Heaven a fun place, but that just got me and
my friends kicked out. Note how bad we were.
Does that mean that
I can stay up past
my bedtime?
After God told me to
go to Hell, things in
Heaven were never
quite the same.
First off, they set up a bunch of dumb rules, and
then they imposed a really strict dress code.
THIS
And, if you act now and send in
the following coupon releasing
your soul to me for eternity, I'll
send you this free T-shirt! (Please
enclose $4.95 for shipping).
What
happened?
I'll wager that
people must
be quite bored NOISE
up there, but
hey, that's what
they get for
being good.
SMILE
Yes, and it
also means I
can beat you
to a pulp if I so
desire, so
keep your
mouth shut!
So kids, to ensure your permanent
place in Hell, send me your soul now!
And, just to make
absolutely sure
where you're going.
it probably wouldn't
hurt to buy a few of
these things with my
picture on 'em!
I only have a
few more
frames left to
get kids to send
me their souls,
or this entire
three-page ad
is a complete
failure.
Contract
I, the undersigned, do hereby give possession of
my soul to the Devil, for eternity, for ever and ever
and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever
Signature,
Name
I'll be
seeing
you!
I SOLD MY
SOUL AND
Address
ALL I GOT
City
Bee-be-de-be-
be-de-be-be-be-
de-be-be-de...
WAS THIS
LOUSY T-SHIRT
"offer expires 12/31/96
send this to:
At Devil Man
El Segundo, CA 90245