PISSED IN PARADISE
The last I heard of him he was trapped in Germany
(because of visa problems) drinking barf out of his
own glass by night and skating like the madman that
he is during the day. I made it a quest of sorts to find
out what ever happened to Lee Ralph. I made a few
calls and found out that he was alive and well living
in Auckland, New Zealand. The next logical thought
was the long flight out there to get the story.
Aoetearoa (long white cloud) is the name the
Maoris gave these two beautiful islands in the deep
South Pacific almost one thousand years ago, but
the Dutch title Nieuw Zeeland is the one that stuck
to the rest of the world. Unlike Australia, where the
aboriginal people had their land stolen from them.
the Maoris fought hard to keep their land, and in
doing so kept their culture alive and thriving in New
Zealand today. I made it out there and within hours.
I found Lee sleeping face down in a house on Sussex
Street. After waking up this big orange man, he
showed us the spots that make him the skater that
he is. He told stories about skating that had my sides
aching from laughter. Some of my favorites would
include the time Lee spoon packed a local skater's ear
with dog diarrhea while he slept and finished him off
with a shit moustache, and the time a local bogan
(hessian) tried to do the loopa New Lyn and got
served. The pipe is only about nine feet tall.
As it turns out, there are almost twenty public
ramps and some funky old skateparks around the
Auckland area. Lee knows them all and with Radar's
van and a healthy crew of rippers, we hit as many as
possible. If gnarly concrete is what you need to ride.
New Zealand is right up there at the top of the list.
The world is a small place and it is good to see that
the fabric of skateboarding is still made up of threads
like Lee and his pals. They ride when they feel like it,
barefoot or with shoes, will tell you if you suck or rip
and generally will be skating long after most will be
married with kids and a mortgage. -Jake Phelps
Bottom, left to right: An island son named Curtis floats lazily above a big vert
ramp on the coast. The writing on the wall proved Lee was alive. One crazy
ass skatepark called Whangarei. More proof of the legend. Matauri Bay
(spread) in the Bay of Islands is the final resting place of the Rainbow Warrior.
LEE RALPH SMELLS
VISION
LALP