20
15
TRICKS YOU CAN'T DO
ON A SNOWBOARD
AUGUST 1995
THIS SIDE
SCREEN
TOWARD
WHILE SNOWBOARDING MAY NOW OFFICIALLY BE AN OLYMPIC
sport, it is still playing catch-up to the impetus that paved its way-
skateboarding. Try as you might, the facts all speak for themselves:
Here are fifteen things you can't do on a snowboard.-Jake Phelps
1. OLLIE I am only going to ask this once, "How the fuck do you ollie
when your feet are strapped to the board?"
2. HANG UP If you hang up your back truck on a cement vert ramp
while doing an air, you die. If you do it in a snowpipe, you get a dou-
ble chaka and a, "See ya at the lodge, bro."
3. KICKFLIP INDY Vert skating is where all the snow dogs steal their
tricks, but it'll be a cold day in hell before a powder hound will flip
and grab anything but their sister's ass.
4. GRIND Sliding on P-tex and plastic can hardly compare with the
feeling of a raspy axle grind. As for the term 50-50, those are the
odds of you slamming on your face trying to "grind" with no trucks.
5. NOSE WHEELIE Once again, bindings cramp the essence of style.
6. GET WHEELBITE Only skaters know the feeling of making some-
thing rad and getting bucked off when a wheel hits your deck.
7. PLAY IN TRAFFIC Urban skateboarding means cars, buses, cops,
streetcars, hookers and fire trucks all out there waiting to get you.
8. DARK SLIDE Okay, maybe Simon Woodstock.
9. FRONTSIDE INDY Get a clue.
10. MADONNA Might try velcro here, kids.
11. FAKIE Backwards means nothing when you're strapped in.
12. POP SHOVE-IT Spinning the board in the snow requires going to
the shop and getting your bindings switched by Hans Yoderdick.
13. 360 FLIP When pigs can fly we will all wear helmets.
14. A WHEELER Dream on, suckers.
15. JUMP OFF Pull the rip cord right before a 300 foot cliff? Later.
UP FRONT
PLASTIMOUNT.-
MADE. W
JAY STEVENS
AKA SAD
U.S.A.
60/40
PO BOX 2067
FREEDOM. CA 95019
PH: 408.728.5382.
FAX: 408.728.5393