the
Great Skateboard Swindle
10 Easy Steps To Get Your Piece Of The Pie!
Forget about trying to get sponsored-It's too much of a hassle!
Just start your own company and turn yourself pro! It's easier than you think! Here's how:
1. GETTING YOUR NEW CO. STARTED; Instead of a car for your 16th birthday, just ask dad for your very own
skateboard/clothing company!
2. YOUR NAME: The name of your new company is all-important. Be creative-name it after your girlfriend's cat,
or your favorite food, or just pick a cool sounding adjective. Remember one-word company
names work best. Also, it sounds more legit if you put something like "Manufacturing" or
"Sports" or "Products" after your name.
3. YOUR NEW LOGO (minimum of 5); Burn it into the minds of millions. Pick an existing corporate logo and
change it, or go ahead and use one of the handy examples below!
Remember to change it every month to keep it "fresh"!
TINMAN
MANUFACTURING
Cigarette
A Wacky Puss
CATE WACKY PUSSY
SPORTS SKATEBOARDS CLOTHING
Skateboards For Girlies Dammit!
Jazzy
PRODUCTS
4. YOUR NEW TEAM: It's easy! Turn yourself and all your friends pro! You've watched enough videos and know
that you guys should be sponsored anyway. Little brothers make good amateurs.
5. YOUR IMAGE: Pick one of the following, or mix-and-match:
A) Dope (see photo on the right)
B) Tough Guy/Gangsta
C) Intellectual Artsy-fartsy (riders should drink gourmet coffee,
wear round-rimmed glasses, and listen to obscure jazz)
D) Wacky Pee-Pee Poo-Poo Ka-Ka Co.
E) "Out To Save The World" Co.
F) Generic Brain-Dead (ads should have no writing and
pros should not easily fit into categories A-E)
6. YOUR ADS: Extensive research tells
us there are basically
two types- "Skating" and
"Chillin". If you are
feeling really adventurous,
let your creative juices flow
and combine the two for
best effect (see examples).
Example 1: Big skate
photo-little chillin'
photo
Example 2: Big
chillin' photo-
small skate photo
don't forget your new
logo and address!
Yo! This
"gang" of
street smart
skaters is
"chillin' out"
in their
"hood" with
"forties" and
the "chronic".
"Peace".
ie-DOPE.
7. YOUR PRODUCT: This is probably the easiest part. You know what good products look like! Find a woodshop
and a wheel manufacturer. Make some calls and hook it up! We can help you with this part.
8. YOUR GRAPHICS: Art is very personal. Magical. It comes from deep within. Personal struggle. Self
expression. Violent childhood. Question your existence. Art makes us who we are and
releases our demons. Energy of essential freedom. Graffiti and Japanese comic books.
CONTURATEB
INCORPORAT
The "Out-To-Save-The-
World" Company
9. YOUR VIDEO: Make sure your video portrays your image (step 5). Throw a huge
premiere party and invite all the big skate mags and lots of girls to
your gala event. One big trick can last a good couple of months.
10. YOUR FUTURE: Now you've got it made! If sales get too big or too small, just go
back to step 1 and repeat the process as many times as
possible! Hint- Give your riders (step 4) their "own" companies,
then sit back, relax and let the money come rolling in!
That's about it! Good luck, and if you need anymore info, call us and ask for BIRDO!
1840 41st. Ave Box 102-134 Capitola, CA 95010
nh: 408 457 8206 fax: 408 457 8219 no we aren't on the internet vet
brian schaefer
enture