GENERATION X WAS A BAND
NOT A GENERATION
With all the media hype
on youth culture exploit-
ing nothing but rehashed
ideas blatantly ripped off
from the past, I have
elected myself to give
ye olde peasants here a
socio/economical/cultural
Generation X-ish test to
see if the participant
makes the grade of fit-
ting into today's alterna-
tive scene. -Salba Claus
Nine
Inch
Nails
1. TO BE ALTERNATIVE,
ONE MUST:
A) Wear a chain wallet
B) Wear a ballcap
C) Wear seventies-era dothing
D) Be twenty years of age
2. TO BE PUNK, ONE MUST:
A) Have a leather jacket
B) Vomit
C) Wear a chain walet
D) Have at least three tattoos
E) It's the attitude that counts
3. IF YOU LIKE THE SEVEN-
TIES, YOU'RE:
AJ Too dumb to know better
B) Think you're punk
C) Young and stupid
D) Have an identity crisis
E) Trendy
4. NEW WAVE IS BETTER
THAN PUNK:
Al True
B) False
5. TO LIKE WEEZER, YOU
HAVE TO BE BETWEEN
THE AGES OF:
AJ 11-15
B) 15-17
CI 17-19
D) 19-21
6. IF YOU WERE TO PICK
THE BEST PUNK BAND
EVER, IT WOULD BE:
Al Green Day
B) GG Allin
C) The Offspring
DI The Sex Pistols
El None of the above
7. IF YOU LIKE THE
OFFSPRING, YOU'RE:
A) Retarded
B) Mentally ill
C) Really dumb
DI Have nerd tendencies
E) Stupid for spending the
money
8. IF YOU WENT TO ANY
OF THE LOLLAPALOOZA
SHOWS, YOU ARE:
A) Broke
B) A punker
C) A rich mommy's boy with
lots of money
DJ Part of a bigger movement
or family or whatever
E) In need of a lobotomy if you
didn't get in for free
9. ONCE UPON A TIME,
MOSHING WAS CALLED:
A) Pogoing
BI Slamming
C) Dancing
D) The two-step
E) Line dancing
10. BAGGY PANTS ARE
COOL BECAUSE:
A) Skaters wear them
C) I'm alternative
B) Rap is in
D) I have big legs
E) Cholos wear them
11. GENERATION X 15 A:
A) Marketing ploy
B) Band
C) Movement of young people
D) Musical style
12. WHAT CAME FIRST:
A) Punk rock
B) New wave
C) Alternative
D) Techno
E) Grunge
13. THE ONLY THING COOL
ABOUT THE ALTERNATIVE
SCENE IS:
A) Guys wearing
barrettes in
their hair
B) Young girls
with large
breasts who
wear tight tops
C) Doc Martens
D) Flannel shirt
fashions
El Nothing, you
stupid morons
14. WHO
INVENTED
GRUNGE?
A] The Trashmen
B) Nirvana
Cl Iron Butterfly
DI A marketing
executive
El Link Wray
15. SNOW.
BOARDERS ARE:
Al Pussies
8) Scared of
cement
16. WHO MADE UP THE
DANCE STYLE KNOWN AS
SLAMMING?
AJ Skinheads
B) Moshers
C) A group of professional
skateboarders, photographers
and industry giants
D) Ask MoFo
17. IF YOU SKATE, YOU'RE:
Al Cool
B) Lame if you skate vert
CJ Lame if you skate street
D) Happy to ride anything
El A thrill seeker
18. PIERCINGS
ARE:
A) Painful
B) Scary
C) Removable
DI Permanent
E) Hip
19.
IF YOU DYE
YOUR HAIR AN
UNNATURAL
COLOR, YOU ARE:
A) Trying to cover
up the gray
B) A fashionable
punk
C) Imitating your
grandma
DIA skateboarder
from hell
El Just being
trendy
20. IF YOU LIKE
TO SKATEBOARD, EVERY.
THING ELSE SUCKS:
A) True
Now, if you get fifteen or
more answers right (which
I doubt), consider yourself
an alternative trendsetter.
No Morals
KILLER
metherfucke
CORRECT
ANSWERS
1. It's just a label,
get over it.
2. Can one be
punk anymore?
In spirit, yeah.
Anyone can walk
down the street
with a mohawk or
kit or whatever.
It's hard to shock
people anymore.
3. The 70s were
cool when you
Ramones
were a kid, but sucked when
you were a teenager.
4. If you said true, you suck.
5. Weezer's crowd is extremely
young. I saw a mom directing a
small fry slam pit-very 90s.
6. I would have said The Clash.
7. Probably living in Orange
County and wearing Oakleys.
Horton
Heat
8. Out of all the Lollapaloozas,
the best was the Freak Show
during number two
9. People who use the term
moshing should be shot.
10. I like wool baggies.
11. Kiss Me Deadly.
12. What do you think?
13. Answer: B.
14. Poison 13.
15. Snowboarders are scared
of cement
16. In 1978, history was made
Ask McFo
17. Kiling yourself to live and
loving it.
18. If you're gonna pierce any-
thing, it should be your shaft.
19. Dyed hair is for trendoids.
20. If you're a true skater,
there'd be no hesitation in
your answer.
Motörhead
Тор
of
the
Food
Chain.
AND OUT CONE WOLKS
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