ozzy ACSS
RULES
YEAH
On my way to the porta-potties I was accosted by several real-
ly wee dudes who insistently asked me for cigarettes. I shocked
myself by telling them they were too young to smoke. They
looked at me like I was crazy. It made me feel old, ruining their
fun, depriving them of carcinogens. But hey, they should steal
their own butts like I had to. I mean, let's see some initiative!
It's not often that I'm around so many little people, but it's fun.
They act tough and look kinda doofy, but you know they get to
eat candy all day and can still get a thrill out of saying the f-word
to a grown up.
Bill Pepper and Simon Woodstock were followed around by
crazy fanboys and I'll bet those kids had the most fun, dorks.
Meanwhile us jaded fucks sat around and placed bets on who
would bite hardest. The fun box backside 180° challenge was
attempted by numerous flailers until Phil Shao gracefully stuck it.
Then all the drooling fence-dwellers ran up to him and kissed his
ass, which he probably deserved. Truly glorious!
After all that, locals and visitors took over the course for an
anarchic session in which, surprisingly, no one was hurt. There
IZ
Chris Senn (opposite) had good
odds to take the win as he blasted
large lien pokes over the pelvis,
but it was Frank Hirata (top
sequence) who pulled the frontside
kickflip to tail during the final sec-
onds of his run and brought home
the victory. The run for the gold in
the backside 180° contest over
was the scene of utter carnage and
Phil Shao (above) finally took it
after practicing up with big back-
siders into the big bowl. Consistent
as fuck, tall Ron Whaley (bottom
sequence) pulled kickflip backside
grabs with ease. Taking it slob,
Omar Hassan (left) flew the hips.
AD