Hard up for a hook up,
Pancho Maler will do anything
for a new board sponsor.
TRASH
LEFT OVERS
San Francisco is Mecca. In
recent weeks the Bay Area
has been under a bar-
rage from some of the
latest and greatest.
In the Santa Rosa
area word spread
like wildfire that
Natas Kaupas,
Tommy Guerrero
and Micke Reyes
were holding court at
the park. That same
weekend Mark Gonzales
was in Oakland high jump-
ing into vertical kickflips.
Meanwhile Neal Hendrix
literally hit the roof above
Max Schaaf's indoor
Masonite master-
piece. The height
was measured at
eleven feet.
MR.
LUBE
L8 ORGE
I HUNT HOT MUF
I AM NO PENIS
OIL CHANGE
Bored in the sticks with a lot of
spare time on their hands, a couple
wayward skaters try their hand at
a little Mr Lube word search.
Steve Rocco and his knifethrowing assistant
Fleck were kicked out of the Action Sports
Retailer Tradeshow for the act of creating a high
rise tribute to non-commerce. The offending 40
structure towered over the arena floor causing
police and fire personnel much unrest. Un-
marked and unwanted, the massive wooden
platform was mysteriously abandoned on the
San Diego Convention Center floor. Reportedly,
pissed-off union, fire and show management offi-
cials are searching for Steve with a twenty thou-
sand dollar bill for removal of the "illegal" struc-
ture. Rocco was last seen surfing near the Sunset
Cliffs with associate/advisor Richard Novak.
Father NHS was ordered out of the water by life-
guards for undisclosed reasons. Other show
action centered around the allegedly Frank
Hawk designed vert ramp which hosted sessions
by only the most qualified individuals including
son Tony. The younger Hawk's strong moves
there convinced many that the ramp had been
designed to his personal specs. Oddly enough,
such unwarranted speculations have plagued
Frank throughout his ramp building career.
Former Makaha Skateboard art director, John
Van Hammersveld was on the scene prompting
rumors that he was going to design a ramp com
WATER SLIDE
There are a thousand ways to ruin your bearings.
Here, a Hunter's Point local demonstrates one.
plex. The Hammer's latest design in reality is a
half-million dollar Fatburger restaurant in Hol-
lywood. Fueling further speculation, John was
seen talking to both Jimmy Fitzpatrick and
Steve Caballero.
WRONG TURN
was also on the scene in the com-
pany of some notorious female
nude mountain bike riders from
Moab, Utah. Don Fisher explained.
his presence by claiming to be at
the bike gig only to witness the
Alan Seymour-curated exhibit of
lowrider bicycles.
Salman Agah has been acquir
ing significant water time recently
in the company of Skip Engblom
and Andrew Currie. During surf
sessions at Oxnard shores Salman
has been seen charging set waves
with abandon.
NHS czar Dickvak claims he was
contacted by a Beverly Hills attor
ney who was trying to sell the
rights to one of the skateboard
industry's best-known companies.
The twist here is that the owner of the for sale
company is reportedly telling his employees and
riders that all is well.
PISSED LIST
Which irate half-pint Hall of Fame skater
recently assaulted several journalists over his
perception that Thrasher
TREND QUEST
was in fact an evil market-
ing scam? Was he told in
blunt terms to just "turn
around and walk away?"
Which shop owner was
seen steaming over his rid-
ers appearing in a crosstown
rival's ads?
WEDDING BELLS
New Dealer extraordinaire
Steve Douglas got hitched
to his true love Frances
Aghajani on the beach of
Carmel, California. Mean-
while, Simon Woodstock
eloped to Vegas only to get
divorced two weeks later.
STONED AGAIN
Caught maxin' and relaxin', Danny Boy from
House of Pain was seen kickin' back in a hotel.
tales of golfing with Groucho Marx, George
Burns, Georgie Jessel and Jack Lemmon, Is
Tumbleweed the latest born-again golfer? Will
he join the ranks of Cooksie, Rocco, Swank,
Henry Hester and Fitzy on the links? Even Keith
Cochrane has been seen slicing buckets of balls
in China Basin. As for art, Ancell was just viewed
doing a skateboard homage to the Cadillac
Ranch on SF's Market Street.
Scariest of all, The International Surfing
Museum has inaugurated "celebrity surfing" milk
Pogs. These picture slammers depict notorious
types en flagrante del surfo. Reportedly in the
works are picto-Pogs featuring such surf-skate
notables as Jay Adams, Hobie Alter, Phil
Edwards, Mike Hynson, Skip Frye, Herbie,
Nathan and Christian Fletcher, Vince Klyne,
Jonathan Paskowitz, Joel Tudor, Warren
Bolster and Mike Weed. Since 89% of these
guys all had skate models confusion is inevitable.
UDDER CREAM
"Rocco built the tower of babble."
-Rich Novak
Todd Sokol is building skates from aerospace
materials. Scott Obradovitch has been spotted
testing one which appeared to be built of exotic
carbon fiber. Typically, all of this cutting-edge "It's an example of the small penis syndrome."
technology has been camouflaged with retro
-John Falahee
bash skull imagery.
"The little man erects a giant tower to look
down on industry."
-Jim Gray
Kevin Ancell has reinvented himself as a lean
clean artistic machine.
Working towards his
aforementioned exhibi-
tion, Ancell has begun
On the way to one last demo in the heartland telling his childhood
of America, the Real team was involved in a
heinous car wreck. Apparently while the crew of
Julien Stranger, Ben Liversedge, Drake Jones
and Matt Field were sleeping, Shawn Mandoli
decided to catch a few Zs as well. Unfortunately.
for the rest, Shawn was driving. No dead bodies.
but some serious impact.
Walt Teague, Steve Saiz and Ray Underhill
were observed selling bicycle suspension parts.
at a recent bike convention. Paradoxically locat-
ed directly across the isle from the Gullwing crew
was one Rob Roskopp, who was hawking his
barn-built Santa Cruz bikes. Bod Boyle and Tim
Piumarta both claimed non-involvement and
lack of knowledge in the matter. The erudite Fish
PARK
PATROL
The speed runs at Dodge
Skatepark have been
getting so out of hand late-
ly that a cycle unit has
been dispatched to make
sure that skaters stay
within the posted limit.