Christian Hosoi
It only landed us in the common
bondage of seclusion, where the
days on the unit passed so slowly
began to see and think and feel in
slow-motion. Only Delbert walked
freely about the ward, in his delib
erate, thought-filled way, some-
times stopping outside my grated
door window.
"What?" Frank looked shocked.
Delbert's face was apologetic.
"Oh. That's rez talk for cool... you
know-bad, whatever. That's a real-
ly juvenile song."
"Juvenile?" I asked.
"Yeah, I guess it comes from
going to juvenile court," he said.
At first I thought that Delbert
had gone back into his inner space.
But pretty soon he said, "Naw, I
hate pow-wows." Then, catching
our dumb stares, he added, "You
know, no skateboards allowed."
We laughed, and a half-smile
crossed over Delbert's face for a
One night, Frank let me out to Series of irrational behaviors;
play cards. I saw Delbert standing
in the unlit part of the dayroom, as
if he was staring out the window.
"How come Delbert keeps his
privileges?" I complained.
Frank frowned at his cards, the
light glaring off his balding head. "I
don't know. I guess that the doc
tors think it's cultural or something.
Like maybe his tribe has a taboo
against talking about personal
stuff you know?"
"So, I got a thing against talking
about personal stuff too, but it's
never got me anywhere."
Frank knuckled me playfully on
the head. "Boy isn't that the truth,
you numbskull. When you gonna
learn, Cash? I don't want to see
you move in here full-time, bud."
"That wouldn't be so bad," I
said. I reached over and turned the
staff radio on low. Frank didn't
object, so I turned it up a little. I
grinned. The die-hard metal rock-
ers had the airways at 2:00 am.
I didn't hear Delbert shuffle up
to the table. He cleared his throat.
"That music's all juvenile." he said.
Hooked up, annoyed.
54 Тиклоне
family considers him a
danger to self and others...
"You know, status for being bad
news. Stupid, huh?"
I tried it on for size. "That's really
juvenile... No, I like it, Keetso."
Frank was dealing Delbert in. "I
thought you guys liked pow-wow
music, stuff like that."
SALE
Trociren
moment. When it was gone I won-
dered if I had imagined it.
Sunday was visiting day. I hated
Sundays because Frank was off-
duty, and because I never had any
visitors. I would wake up real early
with this sick feeling in my stom-
ach, and thinking I might get a
pity visit from someone that day.
A pity visit was worse than no visit,
but worrying about it hour after
hour shot Sunday all to hell, even if
nobody ended up coming. On that
Sunday, I got up before dawn and
asked the medication nurse for
some anxiety meds.
"There are no additional meds
orders for you, Eddy. I'm sorry."
She smiled kindly. "Here, why don't
you help me get all these log notes
and orders filed before the day.
people come on?"
I started punching holes and fil-
ing the large stack of papers on her
desk, mechanically at first, then lin-
gering over each file long enough
to sneak a peek at past log entries.
I learned that Booth had been an
alky for twenty-five years, but
before that a professor who lived
for his students and wife, that is,
until his wife died in a car wreck. I
felt an unpleasant dose of guilt at
all the times I had blown off his
ramblings with a wisecrack.
Cooney, as big as he was, had
been beat by his old man so bad
once that they put him in traction.
Then there was Delbert Keetso's
file. I hesitated before I opened it,
trying to shake off that nagging
feeling that it was disrespectful or
taboo to know what happened to
him. The bruising had faded to
yellow by now, but I still thought
about it some. Then I had this rare.
vision of common sense, of think
ing, heck, Keetso's just a kid like
me. It just hurts him to always be a
mystery man.
"April 3rd... Basis for Commit-
ment... Rule out schizophrenia....
Series of irrational behaviors; fami-
ly considers him a danger to self
and others... Multiple treatments
by medicine man failed, according
to mother, who appeared visibly
distressed by his commitment to
non-Indian facility..."
No mention of murder or other
hideous crime in big red letters;
hot a clue as to the mega-bruises
on his body. I noticed people were
rousing for breakfast, so I made a
quick stab at my own file, thinking
to have a good laugh. But I could
go no further than the last entry:
*... Eddy Cash seems to have
reached maximum benefit from our
program; consider early discharge
to group home, and State Hospital
for future commitments if thera
peutic progress not evident."
I told the day nurse I didn't feel
well, and curled up in my bed for
the rest of the morning.
When I staggered out at noon,
blinking my bloodshot eyes into
the sunshine, I was surprised to see
Max Schaaf
STOP
a group of Indian people milling
awkwardly in the dayroom. Delbert
walked in from lunch and froze
when he saw them. They saw him,
but they didn't see him. Whoever
they were looked right through
him, away from him, at the floor,
at the ceiling-it was like he was a
non-person, banished from the
family circle, if not physically, then
mentally. Only a woman, I guessed
she was his mother, came forward
with great pain in her face, and
handed him a care-package of
some kind. Then they all turned
away and left.
Delbert bit his lower lip, his body
rigid as a board.
"How can you stand it?" I asked
suddenly.
Delbert turned his head slowly
toward me. His eyes were watery.
Still, I motor-mouthed on. "The
whiteys in here are tripping all over
themselves treating you Indian.
"Your family won't even look at you
because you violated some secret
Indian code. Man, when do you get
to be Delbert Keetso?"
His face registered a mild look of
surprise, but he said nothing.
Just at that moment I saw my
shrink walk onto the ward and start
talking quietly with the day nurse. I
felt my gut tighten.
"Delbert," I whispered, "please
don't hold this against me." I struck
out with my right fist and knuckled
hard against his cheekbone. Del-
bert staggered back and shook his
head. As I watched the anger rise
in his eyes, the orderlies were on
me, wrestling me to the floor. The
heaviness and smells of their bod
ies suffocated me, and I
yelled and struggled with
all my might to keep my
head clear of the thrashing
limbs. In a blur of adren-
aline, a chunky knee finally.
mashed my head down
on the linoleum
"You little turd," the
orderly hissed. Someone
stripped my pajama bot-
toms down off my hip, and
I felt the sting of a needle
in my muscle. The intense
weight of the men on my
head and legs slowly dissi
pated as I floated away.
When I woke up, my
pant legs were rolled up,
and thick leather straps
bound both my ankles and
my wrists to a gurney
squinted into a bright fluo
rescent overhead and saw
Frank standing there, smil-
ing. He was unfastening
my wrist restraints in his
laid-back way.
"Ready to join the world again,
kiddo?"
I closed my eyes.
"That's it, isn't it, Eddy? You'd
just as soon check in permanently
with the looney-tunes."
I took a deep breath, but my
voice cracked anyway as soon as I
spoke. "I don't add up to zero out
there. I understand how things go
down in here. I was thinking how
safe I always felt on the unit, and
how people actually seemed to like
me. "Hey Frank, am I your friend?"
"Yeah, stupid, you're my friend.
You're winning a regular popularity
contest here."
That made me laugh, relieved
the heavies were now over with.
"How's Delbert?"
"Bout the same as you! I heard
Keatso tried to depants one of the
orderlies while they were taking
you down. Can you believe it? I just
sprung him loose too."
I sat up and saw Delbert stand-
ing there, grinning sheepishly.
Frank laughed. "I'll leave you
two to kiss and make up."
There was an awkward silence as
we undid my ankle restraints.
"Uh Delbert, sorry I hit you."
"That's OK. I been hit harder."
I thought of the bruises and
asked. "By who-your old man?
Your brother-in-law?"
He looked thoughtful, like he
was screening what he might say.
Then, when our eyes met, he said,
"That's how the medicine man gets
the witchcraft out. He pounds the
Louis Cuccaro
places it might be and tries to suck
out the poison."
I know that my eyes were wide.
"Wow, brutal. But... there wasn't
any witchcraft, huh? It was just you,
wasn't it just Delbert Keetso?"
"Yes I guess I just don't fit into
their world."
"I know how you feel. Inside, I
was thinking how weird it was to
be talking like this to Delbert,
well, to anyone for that matter. I
hoped Frank was noticing how
therapeutic I was being so he could
note it in my file.
"Delbert? Do you mind if I ask
you what you did to your brother
in-law?"
Delbert seemed to prepare him-
self for revealing a major scandal.
He hung his head, his long hair
falling into his eyes.
"I cut off his braids in his sleep"
"Whoa!" I said loudly. "That's
juvenilel
Delbert Keetso laughed, his
whole body relaxing.
"Yeah," he said "I know."
-LT Raczek
5.5