How To Act Like A Total Jerk
Most people don't need any help
when it comes to acting lame, but
there's still a few zorfs out there
who could use a crash course:
A) Signal left, turn right.
B) Read other people's mail.
C) If the mistake is in your favor,
don't try to correct it.
E) Stand-up your date.
F) Slouch.
G) Wear jeans to weddings.
H) Park in the handicapped zone.
1) Don't sign your checks.
J) Remind people that their
freckles could be cancerous.
K) Peel out always.
D) Use sexist innuendos to get
more attention.
L)
Tailgate the elderly.
The King of Cool, James Kelch, askin' the local store if they have Prince Albert in a can.
M) Let the phone keep ringing.
N) Develop a truly foul mouth.
O) Talk with your finger in other
people's faces.
P) Smoke in bed.
Q) Don't leave a message.
R) Sleep until noon everyday.
S) Sneer at people who try hard.
T) Don't vote.
U) Pledge cash you won't send.
V) Argue with everybody.
W) Touch paintings in museums.
X) Record over borrowed tapes.
Y) Nurture conspiracy theories.
2) Gamble with rent money.
1) Stay directly in front of or
behind emergency vehicles.
2) Cross at the red or yellow.
3) Don't make up your mind.
5) Toss things out the window.
6) Talk with your mouth full.
7) Ask if her diamond ring is real.
8) Serve corn on the cob to
people with dentures.
9) Ask the stewardess a question
every five minutes.
10) Make jokes about terrorists at
the boarding gate.
11) Push all the elevator buttons.
12) Spot test "Wet Paint" signs.
13) Goose the bride and groom.
14) Be judgmental.
15) Snap your gum.
16) Announce when you're going
to the bathroom.
17) Ignore deadlines.
18) Curse the umpire at little
league games.
19) Lie to your therapist and sit in
her chair.
20) Clip your nails in bed.
21) Quote Adolf Hitler.
22) Vividly describe a hysterecto-
my when the entree arrives.
23) Scrawl your signature on
important documents.
24) Hand out business cards at
funerals.
25) Ride on the shoulder until you
pass all the traffic, then cut in.
26) Walk pit bulls without leashes.
27) Race old women for the last
bus seat.
28) Cause gridlock.
29) Put your initials in concrete.
30) Draw mustaches on posters.
31) Install a siren in your car.
32) When the collection basket is
passed to you, help yourself.
33) Quote Rush Limbaugh to
feminists.
Hopefully those'll help brighten
everybody's day!
-Psycho
Zimbabwe Skateboards.
Brett Baker
Marge's Skateboard Shop Buyer
Zimbabwe Team member since 1988
Mark Holder
Zimbabwe Customer Service
Zimbabwe Team Rider Since 1993
Send buck for stickers and info to: Zimbabwe Skateboards and Clothing 17969 Beach Blvd.
Huntington Beach, CA 92647 DEALERS call (714) 847-1593 or fax (714) 847-4264
18 TH
Simon Evans, Eben Jahnke, Chris Hall, M. Robeson, Ed Loftus, Pat Washington
+6.X:10
Tel 415.861.0102
EXPERIENCE
Fax 415.861.3240