Photo Ortiz Skater-Ronnie Creager, sw
On Beard
GUTTER TALK
HA WA HA
There are a million ways to take a sucker's paycheck, but here is one that really stings: After depositing a
hard-earned paycheck into an automated teller, the unsuspecting chump is approached by a man who calls
himself "Mboto" and claims to be lost. He produces forged documents purporting that he is a African
national who has recently come into $50,000, but must give most of it to charity in the US due to civil unrest
at home. "Mboto" wants to give the ignoramus $25,000 if he will give $20,000 of it to worthwhile organiza
tions. However, he doesn't trust American banks and needs to see that idiots can withdraw their funds
whenever needed. As a gesture of good faith, "Mboto" asks the numbskull to remove approximately $500
which he proceeds to wrap up in a prayer cloth with the $25,000 chunk. He tells the mark to carry it under
his arm and head straight to a bank to deposit it safely. Upon realization of the dupe, the hayseed unravels
the wad to find nothing but cut-up newspapers. A fool and his money are soon parted.
STICK OR MISS?
They all look good but only one skated away. Guess which one and if we pick your name you
get an embroidered Thrasher ballcap. Send answer to Stick or Miss? c/o Thrasher, PO Box
884570, SF, CA 94188. Congrats to Jeremiah Howard for winning Mirror Dimensions
C
92
-Rip Mehoff
COMING
EVENTS
California
Amateur
Skateboard
League
1994 Schedule
YMCA Sa
San Diego, CA
August 13
Grover Beach, CA
September 17.18
Oceanside, CA
October 22
Rancho Cucamong
Rancho Cucamonga
November 26
December 10
Championship
GREATS
ADAMS
KUBO
FIRING LINE
Rick Oyola
Birthdate: 8-3-71
Height: 6'
Weight: 150 lbs
Home: Philly
Sponsors: Zoo York,
Sub Zero, Spitfire, Indy
Shorty's, Airwalk
Favorite Brunettes:
Nancy Valen, Mariah
Carey, I don't fuck
blondes
Favorite Movie: I like
Fast Times at
Ridgemont High
Favorite Spot: City
streets
Favorite Trick: 360 flip
Hates: Cigarettes and
kids that constantly sit
down
Loves: Family, friends
and LV
Quote: "I like porno
movies, they've got
beautiful women in
them"-Matt Reason
Nellie above familiar turf
Influences: Roger
Browne, lately Fred
Gall has been killing it.
Advice: Skating faster
enhances the
adrenaline rush
Thanks: Adam and
Shane, Rodney, Joey,
Tony, Ruben, Sub Zero,
Roger, Airwalk, Mike
Schoppe, Love Park,
Failure, Oyolas and
Vitarellis
HIT LIST
Beavis and Butt-head
Madonne
The Blossom cast
Preppies who think
they're cool because
they wear baggy clothes
Dance music punk
singers
• Conan O'Brien
Surfers
Rednecks
Football pussies
Billy Joel
Cindy Crawford
The Full House cast
especially those twins
Dan Cortese, go to Hell
Death rockers
Wachusett Regional High
School teachers and all
administrators
I hate you if you're
-Jeff X of Rutland, MA
What does Kurt Biobrain use to collect his thoughts? Fun
A: Aqu
from Dick Gorinya of Richmond, VirginaBOX
A SKATER'S LIFE
Free-living wanderer
Escaping on our mind
Another cool punk
rock band
Our friends just got
signed
Teachers, parents
Girlfriends, peers
Who gives a shit
Pass the beer
Wanting fun
Escaping life
Living it up
Is our strife
LAKE
STROPLE
GRISHAM
Some on drugs
Others straight
Missed the class
'Cause we were late
In the bathroom
With a cigarette
Pissing mom off
Is our only regret
Trying to have fun
With a buck.99
Dating skater chicks
Because they're our
own kind
Dressed like a slob
The only thing on
our mind
Is if mom cleans our
room
What she might find
This is the life
Of one little skater
Talk to you tomorrow
See ya later
-Angela N
POET'S
CORNER
"A HELL OF A SHOE™
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ETNIES
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