On Beard
FIRING LINE
THREE HAWAIIAN PRINCESSES
Age: 75.
Weight: 572 lbs.
I NEVER FORGET A FACE 1575
Jonathan Knight explains how he knew Salman was the Mysto Kid
Well let me tell you the reason I had a feeling
that the Mysto Kid was Salman. It was because
I saw the same pride and the same determina-
tion, and most of all, that same look in his eyes
saying, "Let's kick some ass!"
What I think Salman was doing back in his
younger ages was kicking ass in every which
way. He may have even busted on a groovy
plastic weenie board but believe me, I still have
as much respect for him in that old class photo
as I do for the ones of him in the magazines.
We love you Salman, skate on and kick ass!
Oh yeah, one more thing, when I go pro and
I'm at the top with him, I'll say, "Hey Salman,
you see this sweatshirt I'm wearing?" And he'll
look over and say, "Yeah." I'll say, "Thanks,
you're the reason I have it." And then he'll say,
"Jonathan, how did you ever get better than
me at skating?" And I'll say, "You were my
inspiration." Then I'll skate off with a smile and
he'll start to think that I was one bad ass moth-
erfucker. And then he'll say, "God, I love to
skateboard." And I'll hear him from a distance
and say, "We love you Salman Agah, you were
one of the best skaters that ever lived, possibly
the best." And he'll say, "Except for you Jon."
and then I'll say "Fuck it Salman, let's go skatel"
So then we'll ride back to each other and
we'll go skate for many, many, many years
together, and both die
skateboarding, I hope.
Mephisto Predicts
FORECASTS FOR '94
Wheels even out between 48 and 50mm.
Rocco goes into the shoe biz.
Rodney caspars a handrail.
Duane gets a board and it sells.
Helmets become popular for gap attempts.
Rollins admits that he is gay.
Hologram graphics hit the stores.
Skaters from all over the world flock to Oregon
where a ghostly image of Jeff Phillips appears
over the big bowl at Burnside.
A new skin/skating/rap mag is born called Slapper
Michael Jackson gets caught again, this time on video.
Colin McKay pulls a nollie backside tailslide revert.
Mike Frazier takes up boxing and wins
the bantamweight title.
HIT LIST
Knock
More kooks and nimrods
knock
Cops
Neigh
Everyone
Jocks
bors
from
Who's
there?
Fun
Pricks
Teachers
90210
Lettuce
Poseurs
Power
Bi
Rangers
Clinton
People
who say
that skat
Jay Leno
Little
dogs
by Crazy
Judd
Orlando,
Florida
Lettuce
who?
Box
Lettuce take off your pants.
Submited by Lorena Bobbin Send your
jokes to Fun Box Box 470 CA
Later,
Jonathan Knight
Taos, NM
MATI
Favorite TV shows
Magnum Pl, Hawaii 50.
Favorite Music: Don Ho
The Beach Boys.
Favorite Food: Poi,
roasted pig, sugar cane
Favorite Spots: Alaa
Park, Tony's Pizza Shack
Favorite Movies: Big
Wednesday, Porky's II.
Last Book Read: The
Gobbling Gourmet
Favorite Skaters: Gary
Owens, Stacey Gibo,
Christian Hosoi
Worst Scene: Shore
break, pizza deck and
haoles
Advice For Mankind:
Live it hard or die soft.
Quote: "Captain Cook
wanted to call Hawaii
the Sandwich Islands,
which is fine by us.
First Good Set-up: A
Hosoi Hammerhead, Z
Rollers and Three Guys.
Of Where Does This Remember Me From?
Who is this
boned man?
Correctly iden
tify the subject
in question and
enter a random
drawing to win
a Thrasher
DEL MAR SKATE RANC Sweatshirt
Send guesses
to Memories,
c/o Thrasher,
Box 884570,
SF, CA 94188.
The Awful Truth
LOCAL NEWS
Skateboarders wreak havoc in stores
MAXWTOONS
Inose-wheelied around a comer
downtown the other day and this
neo-skate rat kid looked right at
me and said, "Ohno, another skate
dinosaur, Learn some new moves
grandpa! Not knowing or caring
what sacrifices
blood
5.
I'd given to
Of course
Ifelt bette
There's nothi
a little bit
abuse to hel
verbal var
convulsing.
buckling a few
when this f
hardcore type Sto
world like
physical
Forget the
So... I'm
airs and
inverts
esta-
flipping
shit like:"tricks are for Kids."
and that I should get back to
roots skating. My answer
was chewed by the raging
din of barking axles
&Slapping tails
I saw his death
but the rat
lammed down the
street on his hands,
board balanced on his
feet. I threw rocks-
but I missed. Ide-
cided to bludgeon
myself with ply-
wood in the form
of a half-pipe.
knew it would either
Cure me or KILL me.
I didn't care which
TWICE
NONE DAY
OM BOTH ENDS
Did I wake up in
HELL?
IT OCCURED TO ME THAT
NEITHER OF THESE SPHINCTERS
WAS OUTSIDE OF MY AGE BY
FIVE YEARS... BUT HERE WAS
THIS GENERATION GAP SHIT
ANYWAY TOO WIERD.
JUST LIKE THE BRADY-
BUNCH WHEN GREG WANTED
TO BE A ROCK STAR, BUT MIKE
DIDN'T WANT HIM TO QUIT
HIS JOB AT THE TACO STAND
BECAUSE IT WAS IRRESPON-
SIBLE. AND I DIDN'T HAVE
GOOD OLD ALICE TO PUT
THINGS IN PROPER
PERSPECTIVE EITHER.
Mest
92 T