Up Front
TROY CLOWER
1971-1993
R.I.P.
XDA LABEL
Clockwise from above: Ben Krahn
bones one on the vert wall. Little
Jordan Powell flips out bigtime ever
the pyramid in the shadow of the Needle.
Chod Vogt drifts over the quarter-pipe hip.
Pass Out Pranks
How To Make People Wake Up Miserable
20
hen me and my insane
friends skate fast, we
like to get rowdy. And
when we party hearty we
have but one rule: If you
pass out, be prepared to
pay the price! We take it
personal. In the old days,
we'd shave the eyebrows
of any straight-edge pussy
who had the nerve to drift
off. We oradicated six pairs.
of brows before the word
spread and no one would
party with us anymore.
That's when we realized we
had to mellow out or the
girls wouldn't come over.
The following is a list of
things that might happen
to fools who pass-out at the
wrong tima.
MARKERS The face is the
best spot to write things
like "I swallow because
the victim won't see it until
confronted by a mirror.
HAIR Change the color.
style, or just cut it all off.
Soda, gum and other sticky
substances usually make for
a great "hair don't."
CRUSTY JUNK Dirty socks,
used underwear, and as-
sorted garbage go in the
pants, shirt, and mouth.
BATHROOM STUFF Vasa-
line, toothpaste, and shav-
ing cream plug up facial
orifices nicely. Maxi-pads
make for fine adhesion.
GARAGE GOODIES Duct
tape around the wrists and
ankles immobilizes.
Spray paint is self-
explanatory.
PHOTO OPPOR
TUNITIES A pic.
ture is worth a
thousand rumors.
Cross-dressing
works, don't forget.
the lipstick. Com-
promising posi..
Sleepless in Seattle
After four years of hard work by Roger Stocker, Tom Pirie and
other like-minded individuals, Seattle finally has a skatepark. Con-
struction began mid-summer, and was funded by the city and
insured privately. One month and $60,000 later, the course was
done. The park consists of various quarter-pipes laid out on smooth
cement, including a vert wall, hip, bi-level, corner, and roll-in, as well
as a bulkhead and banked pyramid. It
can get crowded if more that fifteen
people are skating there at once, so
evening or early afternoon is best.
Local skaters run the place, so the
city pretty much stays out (except the
parking pigs), this keeps a healthy
attitude prevalent, and trouble away.
The next phases are supposed to
include a cover, mini-ramps, and a
vert ramp. That should free up some
of the congestion. The roof is essen-
tial due to Seattle's rainy winter, but
what we have now is a good start.
-Chris Lundry
tions with stuffed Sleeping Sheilas await the hazing of a lifetime during an otherwise dull party.
or real animals is also wor-
thy. Video footage is ideal.
PYRO PRANKS Shoe laces
are the only way to go. Hair
isn't advised under any cir
cumstances due to poten
tial inflammatory situations.
caused by nearby poodle-
heads. Word to the wise,
don't play with fire.
MISCELLANEOUS The
hand in warm water is sup-
posed to induce pissing in
the pants, but often doesn't
work. Shoving hot dogs in
and out of the mouth until
the victim starts waking up
and then ditching the dog
and pretending to put away
your schlong always has
good shock value. Driving
the victim across town to
wake up in another room.
will definitely mess with
their head,
The most fun is done.
when three or more of the
above are combined. Just
remember, be original.
-Jesse Driggs
15