Up Front
TRA
ARE
WELCOME
PROFESSIONAL
SLIDING TEAM
OF
USA
AMERICANS INVADE CHINA
Remy Stratton, Max Schaaf, Chany Jeanguenin, Tony Hallam,
Ryan Monihan, Brad "New Jack" Drury and seven BMX riders
from Team GT recently toured the cities of Shanghai, Shenzhen
and Nanjing in mainland China. Ambassador of love and
goodwill Max Schaaf captured the play-by-play.
As I got off the plane I received a flat blow to the cranium, not
by a person mind you, but by the weather. The Chinese heat,
combined with the humidity, is intense. Imagine sticking your
head over a pot of boiling water while wrapping your lips around
the exhaust pipe of a city bus. Then you get some clouds and a
brief but heavy dump of rain.
During our visit to China I was made to feel like the three-
headed boy from Pluto. Chinese believe that white people are
devils so I kept this in mind as I took in the sights. It's really hard
not to feel a little tense when all these people are staring at you,
but this is one thing you've got to deal with.
Eating a ton of food would be easy because everything is
cheap, but the not-so-easy part is trying to figure out what's
slithering down your gullet. The more knowledge I gained, the
less I ate. Then one day I was walking down a street filled
with restaurants. Being hungry, I took a closer look at the
cages in front. Starting at the top, they had chickens, then
some pigeon-type things, then fat snakes. It got even better with raccoons
and opossums, then the grand finale-kittens! Yeah man, all these animals,
cute and cuddly, are there for you to munch. Don't plan on seeing any pets
walking the street. This is not the land of the saying, "Man's best friend..."
Let's go skate down the street. Yeah right, amongst the thousand bikes
per square inch. Street skating in China is near impossible unless there is a
basketball court or outdoor roller rink. Skating is very foreign there, so they
throw skate circuses that will turn you into a clown. But when
you've got to skate and you're in China, you're willing to give up
a lot of pride just for a few ollies.
Being a young man I got some urges to scope for chicks. Most
of the hot numbers could be found at various places including
malls, shops, streets, and restaurants. So me and a fellow com-
panion hooked up some ladies that took us about the town for
grub and drinks. The girls were friendly, but in China there's no
smoochie or coochie without marriage, unless you want to pay
for it. But by the looks of things, that would be highly unadvis-
able. Instead, you can forget about it all with a few drinks. Thirty
ounce beers cost about fifty cents, so that is an easy escape.
Sticking with the big burghs is your best bet if you want to
survive. In the larger cities you can find a western meal of
McDonalds or KFC where most likely you will become a local.
Larger cities offer shops where you can get cool shoes or
clothes for close to nothing. When kicking it in the cities you
have to look out because you tend to stand-out like a sore
thumb, which invariably leads to getting ripped-off.
So trip out on that, it's China, a communist country where American
skateboarders are rare. Does your life lack attention from fellow humans?
If so, then more than enough will be chucked at you from the Chinese. Just
bring an open mind, a whole lot of patience, and a fork. -Max Schaaf
16 Тенек
Clockwise, from top left: The Chinese spared no expense in making the
Americans feel at home. Swiss mixer Chany Jeanguenin doesn't hesitate
to nosegrind a grippy rail. Remy and Sunshine hang in the hotel. China's
Skiboarding Team, loud and proud. An old-style statue in Shanghai.
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