MAIL
DROP
Fax all wax,
tracts, and indis-
putable facts to
Mail Drop, c/o
Thrasher, PO Box
884570, SF, CA
94188-4570.
Bazooka Joe
(right)-Proof
positive that
drugs have
screwed up the
world. Below:
"Here I sit, on
the pooper, just
gave birth to
a California
state trooper."
ONE BULLET
Dear Mister Mountain Bladerman from the
January 1993 issue, first of all, rollerbladers
suck and so do mountain bikers! And if you
hurt your knee so bad and can't skate
anymore, then you should be shot like a
horse. Another thing, you bend your
knee more rollerblading and mountain
biking than you do skating! So, you're
just a pussy and you couldn't skate in
the first place.
BOOTY JUICE
Slinky Slinger
Canada
I have a big problem and it's year
round, not just in the summer. The
problem is that my butt sweats
and it gets so bad that it soaks my
pants and underwear. Don't give
me a stupid lame-ass answer.
I think you already did. T-ed
PIPE DREAM
the
fat fucker fell. He
filled all our stockings with pretzels
and beer and a big rubber dick for my
brother, the queer. He rose up the chimney
with a thunderous fart. That son-of-a-bitch
blew the chimney apart. He swore and he
cursed as he rode out of sight, squirting piss
on all, and have a hell of a night.
The Killer E
JOE AND MORT ARE ON THER
TIME TRAVEL SKATEBOARDS
HOW WAS YOUR DE
HAD
HER HOME 200
WITH GY OPATRAP
COMER
Chris Meyer
Westlawn, PA
I just got to page 16 in the January issue
and it was a must that I stop reading and
write you for info about the Spot Check of
Quito, Ecuador in Up Front. Do you have
any specifics on it. Where exactly it is at?
I was going to go to Dosonzano, Italy on
my vacation, pretty cool shit to skate there,
but I would much rather skate a full pipe
and some snakes. Ever since Upland went
downland, the only pipes I've find are
below ground in Arizona and Thrasherland.
Mike Stillings
Austin, TX
Full pipe skaters have been known to
smell a good hole. T-ed
CHARLES DICKINS
Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the house, everyone
felt shitty, even a mouse. My mom
at the whorehouse and dad
smoking grass, I had just settled
down with a nice piece of ass.
When out on the lawn, there
arose such a clatter, I sprang for
my piece to see what was the
matter. Out on the lawn, I saw
a big dick and I know in a
moment that it must be Saint
Nick. He came down the
chimney like a bat out of hell,
and I knew in a moment that
ME DRAP
BAX 884320
to
believe there were
going to be hooters in the January
issue. God damn, now I need lithium to calm
my sorry self the fuck down. I got the
January issue and there isn't even one hoot-
er chick in the whole damn mag. It's okay
this time, but the next time you fuck with my
head like that, I won't be so kind.
Brian Lease
San Rafael, CA
HOT HEAD
I have a problem. I am a pyro. I love fires
From Up in a Tree and fireworks and can't stop buying lighters.
Once I made a log cabin fire and stuffed it
with weeds and the flames shot
up over twenty feet high. In my
time, I have made several fires
under train tracks, built five bon-
fires, two bizillion fires in the fire-
place and a lot of flamethrower
action with hairspray cans, spray
deodorant and spray paint that
each can almost exploded. All
together, I have made enough fires to
melt the sun. My parents won't let me
get sulfur, saltpeter or lighter fluid.
Help me homey!
Eric "Pyro Pearson
Carrollton, TX
Move to Hollywood, become a stuntman
and get paid. T-ed
SOFT SELL
SEXCELLENT TASTE
God damn it T-ed, I fucking hate you
assholes. You said in your December 1992
issue that coming in the January 1993
issue you were going to have the all-
women on wheels issues with interviews,
reviews, more sequences and the scandal
that rocked the industry, "Raves Cause
Cancer." Where the fuck are the God
damn hooters? I'm
sorry if you think
I'm being an
asshole,
but you
led me
My friends got me a penis pump for a gag
gift last year for my birthday. Since I had it,
I used it and now I have a fourteen inch
limp penis. Every time I ollie, it slaps
around and throws me off balance. What
should I do?
Well Hung
.Longtown, PA
Try walking the dog.
T-ed
FORM FIT
What is it with all you fucked up kids? Why
do people keep skating for years? There's
no point in it. In my city, skaters are just a fad
because they all wake up and look at life. I
used to skate for years. Me and my friends
would go out every day to a friend's ramp
or just hang out at the local school or the
mall. Then there are jocks. The jocks always
tried to pick on us, but when the next foot-
ball game came around, our school would
always lose because half of our school team
would be in intensive care. But now, skat
ing has gotten out-of-hand. Too many stupid
tricks, skaters all dress fucking dumb and
they smell. No one really skates in my city
say this because I am one who loves
blood. Anyway, my point is for vampires to
seek professional help, I am.
Stacy A. Defoor
Dalton, GA
Judgement day starts on page 47. T-ed
UNDER COVER
Why does Agah always wear a cast?
To hide a bad tattoo. T-ed
NEED WEED
Goon
Marysville, CA
I live in a really small town called Hastings.
It's in Minnesota. It seems that all the skaters
are doing drugs. The main one is pot and it's
Foreign Correspondence "From five skaters
anymore. As soon as I quit skating, I shaped
up. I got a job, got some friends, some real
clothes and a life. Some of the skaters I
know are cool, I guess. At local concerts,
I'll run into a couple of guys that I used to
skate with and they don't look too good.
They all look dumb. They all compliment me
on my clothes, money and my life. I'm
down with all the people in the same field like
punks, rave and mostly skins. They're
always coming up to me and my friends for
help when someone is out picking on them.
I just wish all you kids would grown up and
get a life. Now, I'm stuck with this stupid
magazine for another two years. If I cancel
my subscription, will I get my money back?
SS
Lakewood, OH
No. Are you my dad? T-ed
BLOOD LUST
I'm a sixteen-year-old high school sopho-
more. The teachers at my school suck but
they do the best they can. I only have one
question to ask the readers of this fine piece
of literature; where do all of the so called
vampires get off? I mean, I know not too
many of them write in now, but the ones
that used to. I do not believe in the leg-
end of the vampire, however,
I believe that some
people do
suffer from a
craving for
human blood. I
Poser
of the
Month
Assailant:
Sean Gardener.
Crime: Noseslide.
Sentence: Life.
to fifty in one year,"
states Ricky Gowin
regards to the skate
scene in the land of
headhunters, Sara
wak, East Malaysia.
wrecking all the
skaters in Hastings.
The drug dealer's
name is Josh Czy-
zyck. I'm one of
the lucky skaters
that doesn't do
drugs, but most of
them do and it's
because of Josh
Czyzyck's fat, very
fat wart-infested fat fucking stinky ass all the
skaters get drugs from. What should I do to
him, beat him up or murder him?
The Drug Hater
Hastings, MN
Call America's Most Wanted. T-ed
HAMBURGER MEAT
As I was browsing through my new
Thrasher, I flipped through the pages like
do with every other magazine I get. Then I
turned to the Zero Two ad and I just about
puked. This ad was totally nasty. Just look-
ing at it made me want to be a vegetarian for
life, but it didn't exactly go that way. That
night I went to McDonalds and order a Big
Mac without even thinking about the ad. As
I was eating, I pulled out my Thrasher and
started to read. When I got to the cow's
head. I realized what I was doing and I ran
into the bathroom and barfed all over the
newly mopped floor. The moral of this story
is pay attention to what you're eating or just
don't read Thrasher while you chow.
Ferdinand
Des Moines, IA
Why not just eat the mag? T-ed
HEAVY SHIT
Hey, maybe I'm really fucked in the melon,
but the mutant two-beaked duck on page 80
of the December issue looks a helluva lot
like a rabbit backwards.
Gos
Hollywood, CA
ENVELOPE OF THE MONTH
DOG BITE
king fee with the lovable Tell Family
FREE for 30 DAYS!
$19%
I was wondering why the Fox Net-
work ran the 1988 skate/action adventure
movie Gleaming the Cube under the name Remarkable
A Brother's Justice. Were they trying to plastic trolls
make it sound more commercial so people (above) dating
would watch it? And to top it off, they edited back to the mid-
out two of Tony Hawk's best lines, "Hey, thirties show how
there's my Pizza Hut," and "Oh shit, look at
that." Corporate America, go figure.
Darrin Snyder
Springfield, VA
They should have called it Reaming Your
Tube. T-ed
TEEN SCREAM
I'm a blonde-haired, green-eyed, fifteen
year old beauty who wears all black all the
time. I'm a psycho, pyromaniac skater, rock-
er, bitch from hell. I'm into whips, chains and
don't forget the handcuffs! I go to a high
school filled with total imbeciles and I have
never met anyone who is my equal or who
even comes close. T-ed, you're my equal.
come out and play with me! I'm lonely.
Devil's Daughter
Folsom, CA
No photo-No action. T-ed
NAKED RAYGUN
What do skaters like for their girls to
wear, baggies like the guys or tight-ass
jeans? 'Cuz for damn sure nothin' beats a
rad-ass skater.
Vicious
Long Beach, CA
Birthday suits are just fine
by me. T-ed
THRASHER
AGAZINE
Post Office Box 884570
San Francisco, CA 94188-4570
The Simpsons'
(below) formula
was "borrowed."
Family life will
never be
the same.
Photographic
evidence that
baby Bart was
born to skate.
Eric Wiendel
E. Greenwich, RI.
80 TASH
81