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SEWAGE SANDWICH
- 2 slices of bread
honey
jelly (any kind)
peanut butter (crunchy)
*shredded coconut
*ground peanuts
your favorite cereal
.confectioner's sugar
sliced banana
-sliced strawberries
wheat germ
marshmallow spread
Skarfin'
Material
My lifelong quest for the ultimate cheese puff took me
through the kitchens and grottos of Europe. I studied
the finest methods of greasy grub preparation under
head chefs, haggard gypsies and portly grand mamas.
I learned recipes for roast beast, quiche goulash and
deep fried gristie, but never the elusive puff. Returning
from my unfulfilled but nonetheless radical sabbatical,
I found my mail box bulging with recipes from fam-
ished skaters the world over. There, within the stunted
scrawl, I found what I really yearned for all along...
-2 tbs. frozen red chili (hot)
Combine all ingredients between the bread
and consume. (Benjie of Dallas, TX)
BREASTS OF PAIN
-4-6 chicken breasts
1/2 can enchilada sauce (hot)
1 package powdered red chill
several Saltine crackers
-12 pack of Bud longnecks
Cut breasts into fajita-type strips. Roll gen-
erously in powdered chile until evenly coat
ed. Brown in large frying pan, add enchilada
sauce and thawed red chile. Simmer. Serve
with crushed saltines on buttered tortillas.
(Sean McGarrity of Santa Fe, NM)
LIPOSUCTION LOBOTOMY
-linguine
116 oz. can sauerkraut
shredded cheddar to make it better
+1 quarter stick butter
-spice of life (oregano, garlic, pepper, salt)
Boil linguine. Put butter into frying pan. Heat
pan to medium-high. Drain sauerkraut and
put into pan when butter is melted. Toss four
shakes of oregano into frying pan. Shake in
lots of garlic salt, pepper and salt. Let cook
six minutes. Drain linguine. Put cooked
sauerkraut over linguine. Sprinkle with
shredded cheddar. (Heather L Camp and
Jason P. Bares of Appalachia, NY)
LEPER STEW
+1 16 oz. can of pork-n-beans
+1 16 oz. can of chill with beans
-6 hot dogs (sliced thinly)
Place beans, chill, and dogs into a large pan
and heat. Add about 4 or 5 tablespoons of
barbecue sauce. When it reaches optimum
temperature, serve in bowls with spoons
people. (Dean Whitney of Wahaiwa, HI)
One good leper pile can feed about three
Your favorite barbecue sauce
PULSATING OOZE OMELET
-2 eggs
+1-2 slices of Havarti cheese
1 heaping tbs. of peanut butter
1 cup of chopped pineapple
-1 cup of cubed Spam
Toss some butter in pan and put on medium
high. Crack eggs into bowl. Add a little water
or milk and stir. Put eggs in pan and let
them ooze for a minute until they start to
cook. Season to taste. Slap in cheese,
peanut butter, pineapple and Spam. Wait
until almost all of the runny egg ooze is
cooked before you fold omelet Let it cook
until parts become brown spotted, then put
on plate. (Chris Franc, Fircrest, WA)
NUKED LEPRECHAUN
-2 potatoes
-1 jar Cheez Whiz
-butter
a bunch of pork pieces (bacon bits)
- microwave
-fork
Wash taters and give 'em the Freddy
Krueger once over with a fork. Nuke for 5
minutes on high. Turn over and put Cheez
Whiz in nuker. Nuke for about 2 minutes (or
until potatoes are soft). Put on a plate and
cut up. Dump on butter, pork pieces and
Cheez Whiz. (David Williams of Nikiski, AK)
FALLOUT BURRITOS
1 or 2 cold Kentucky Fried Limbs
1 or 2 flour tortil
+1 bottle lemon juice
De-skin and remove the chicken from
bones. Use a sharp object (knife, teeth,
rock, saw, etc.) to chop up the flesh into
bearing-size pieces. Spread out tortillas,
apply chicken and a squirt of the lemon
juice. Go directly to Taco Bell and learn how
to fold burritos. Come back home and put
your new-found knowledge to use. Stick
your snacks in the microwave oven and
nuke for 30 seconds on high (Jason Terta-
dian, South Milwaukee, WI)
Until next time, keep the gravy train roll-
ing and send any recipes to Chef Boy-
Am-I-Hungry, c/o Thrasher Magazine,
1303 Underwood Avenue, SF, CA 94124.
(Thrasher Magazine is not responsible
for damage to kitchens, utensils or for
injury due to fire, toxic spills or gastro-
nomical occurrences.)
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