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FISHWIFE, CRANKSHAFT S
A COMPILATION FEATURING: 411.
TANK HOLY LOVE
CRYPT CRASH RUMP, GLIVE LAWN, QUE
SACABERA, DRIVE LIKE, ETC
Manahall
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GRUNTRUCK
INSIDE YOURS
"Bristles with a kind of heady
strangeness...three steps
forward of the current sludge-
ola."
(Jeff Gilbert, THE ROCKET)
PRODUCED BY JACK ENDINO
Distributed in the U.S. by
Relativity Entertainment
Distribution
Write in for free mail-order catalog:
Roadracer Records/Blue
Grape Merchandising
225 Lafayette St., Suite 407
New York, NY 10012
ROAD RACER
DWARVES
by Derek Rinaldi
The Dwarves came up from the dressing
room, calmly walked on stage and just
when you think you know what makes
them tick, they blow up in your face. In
between songs, there was an initial cheer
from the crowd in the New Jersey club. And
then, within seconds, the band was dodging
beer bottles and spit.
This was after every song.
Things heated up quickly and
the taunting of the crowd found
vocalist Blag Jesus and gui-
tarist Crash Landon in the
scarce pit brawling with one
"fan. Ten minutes later, the
final straw was pulled by Blag's
comment before the last song,
"Hey, don't they have any girls
in this state or are there just all
faggots? The end of the song
came a bit premature after the
unnameable guitarist hurled
the broken neck of his guitar
into the crowd. Drummer Vadge
Moore followed by knocking his
drums over and Blag, bassist
Brio Generic and Crash fended
off challengers stage right.
Vadge avoided the
chaos and pro-
ceeded to break
every spotlight
above the stage.
ABOUT THE
DWARVES:
We're just guys
from the Midwest
and we got tired
of all the weak ass shit. The
Dwarves are about rock n' roll
and fighting crime. And skate-
boarding too. That has a lot to do
with what wodo take my
board out and fight crime on it.
In fact, my super-hero name is
"45 Shaka Brah."
ABOUT VIOLENCE:
In Richmond, Virginia, there
were people that held a grudge.
from the last time we played
and they went to the show and
started yanking us into the pit
while we were playing. But,
they didn't realize that we were
the wrong people to fuck with,
so we started throwing punches
and kicking their asses and
ended up putting
one of them in the
hospital, He
didn't regain con-
sciousness in
time to press
charges, so we
left town. Basi-
cally, to all the
people in Bich
GU
DWE
mond, 'We'll kick your asses-
anytime.' See, we're fighting
crime because we're super-
heroes of rock n' roll. We are
both good and evil. We fight
crime, but we create crime too.
So, we'll always have a job.
ABOUT GOING BACK TO RICHMOND:
We're not going back. We fight
crime, but we're not stupid.
ABOUT TRAVELI
Our favorite place in the world
is Texas. Everyone there is
wild. They know how to rock
n' roll. Philly is cool as fuck.
Last time we played Philly,
everyone rocked out and nobody
got hurt
ABOUT PEOPLE
Even though we're hated
every place we go, people treat
us good because they need us to
night the crime in their area
ABOUT MIDGETS AND DWARVES:
Midgets are correctly proper
tioned and they're cute and lit
tle. Dwarves are really evil and
all fucked-up looking. That's
why we are dwar
ABOUT SEX:
N
Blag-In Houston, I was on stage
and I had no clothes on and this
very pretty girl comes up on
stage with no shirt on and in
front of a sold-out crowd, she
just sucked me off. And do you
know why? Because she was
confused.
Vadge-I had a girl piss on my.
chest on tour. This girl paid no.
Allin two bucks to piss on him,
but she did it to me for free.
ABOUT SKATING
You should ride your skate-
board and bug your parents and
do whatever you want to do.
And if your kid wants to have
sex with other kids, don't
worry about it
ABOUT THE END:
We like the Misfits and Gary
Glitter because they are leg
ends. The Dwarves are a wild
rock n' roll band. We are legends
as opposed to stars. Stars have
money, but everywhere we go,
girls want us. We are more than
famous. We will never end.
52 THRASHER MAGNE