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Forward all premonitions, renditions and
cement transitions to Mail Drop, Thrasher,
P.O. Box 884570, S.F., CA 94188-4570.
(Please send black & white art only.)
GHOST WRITER
I was skating super-speed down a
hill and went right into an intersec-
tion. I swear to God a car smashed
me, but I'm sitting here writing this
letter, not even scratched. I think I'm
dead! Help me!
Ann
Dana Point, CA
If you're composing, not decompos
ing, you must be alive. T-ed
IMPRESSION DROP
We are an all-chick skate crew.
from Reed College in Portland, Ore
gon. Our style is
cramped daily by.
the lame show-off
attitudes of amateur
skate bastards who
always demand that
we hand over our
skates so they can
impress us with
their lame East
Coast, non-stylin'
"tricks. This is prob
ably a problem for
lots of skate chicks.
We just want to let
these bloated mofos
and other male ego
maniacs know that
to pour on some true speed. About
half a block later I caught up with
the thief. I snapped my deck up into
the air, catching, swinging and
throwing it at the guy in one swift
motion. I tagged him with some
"Bok Fu' strikes, stunning him. Be
fore he could even react, about ten
people piled on top of him. He tried
to get away but I laid my board
down on his skull and pressed
down, rendering him immobile. It
was so movie-like! Anyway, the va-
cationing victim, grateful for our as
sistance said. "I used to think skate
boarding was obnoxious, but now, I
swear, I'm all for it." She gave us
each a $50 bill out of her $1,300
wallet and hugged us. 100.
Bad Dog
San Jose, CA
You took the money? You should
have said. "All in a day's skate,
ma'am. No wonder we get such a
bad rap. T-ed
WAL-RIDE
I am a fourteen-year-old skater
who still enjoys a nice romp through
the toy section of Wal-Mart. One
day, I decided to pass the time by
skating one of the pre-assembled
skateboards. I picked out the best
one, which was pitiful, and started
doing some flatground tricks. While
skating, I noticed a few six- and
seven-year-olds watching me intent-
ly. All of a sudden this grouchy old
Wal-Mart worker marched up and
ordered me to get off the board. I
don't know why she was so upset.
those little kids were probably going
to beg their mommies to buy them
boards. But, in order to keep the
peace. I put the board back and
ducked into the next aisle.
Five minutes later I went back to
chicks can skate too The HHL crew poses outside their
and we don't need skate clubhouse at Reed College.
the embarrassment of sitting around
watching you try to impress us!
Team Happy Happy Love
Portland, OR
FELONY SLIDE
My friend and I were skating some
burly stairways in San Francisco.
one fine afternoon when suddenly
this lady starts screaming, "Stop!
Stop him Some hard-up dickweed
had snatched the poor woman's
purse! The guy came haulin past us
and kept on going at full speed. No-
body could catch the guy. I quickly
allied off the stairway and hit the
sidewalk rolling. I crouched low and.
with my friend right behind, started
the same aisle and
there was the same
grouchy old worker,
except now those
same kids were
skating around her.
She was grabbing
them and ordering
them to get off their
boards, but, be
cause they were
little kids, they did
the exact opposite
of what she told
them to do. Not
wanting to hear
some dumb lecture,
and so as not to
start a good skater
versus evil Wal-Mart
worker conflict, I went to the elec
tronics section on the other side of
the store.
Micah Gautreaux
Baton Rouge, LA
If he was dead, Sam Walton would
be turning in his grave, but he's not.
so he won't. Ted
CRIPPLED NIPPLE
Three weeks ago I did a very
stupid thing-I let my friend Dennis
persuade me into letting him pierce
my nipple. I never would have done
this if I had known that he had never
pierced a nipple before and how
much pain was involved. To make a
long story short, I ended up with a
IMSE
I
frank RATA
• ever SLICK
SIMS
4401 Soquel Dr. Soquel, Ca. 95073