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GWAR
(From page 72) forces of industry and
technology gone amok and
twisted into this killing machine.
GWAR is like the primitive
barbarian who would rather
remain pure but at the same time
is being corrupted by the evils of
modern society. There is
something to back up all the
humor.
"Then again, the best thing about
GWAR is seeing someone get all
their arms and legs ripped off and
getting bathed in a tidal wave of
blood!"
Ah-ha. The School of Overstim-
ulation strikes again!
"No, that's oversaturation,"
explains Brockie. "We're trying to
figure out how to pump out
another hundred gallons each
show."
With GWAR's cast of characters
rounded out by Mike Dirks
(Balsac), Daniel Stamppe (GWAR
Woman), Don Drakulitch (Sleazy/
Bozo Destructo) and Louis Bragg
(Gusher Jizmax), each have
created their characters from
sources as diverse as H. P.
Lovecraft books, Jack Kirby
comics and eccentric bits of their
own personalities. Does there
ever come a point where the line
between reality and GWAR's
blood-stained fantasy gets a bit
fuzzy?
"When you get on stage, you've
got to get totally immersed in your
character, admits Jackson.
"You've got to leave reality behind.
There are plenty of scenes where.
as Techno, I get beaten by GWAR
6 Cool Woman, raped, totally humiliated.
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"It gets a bit schizophrenic at
times, assents Dave. "A multiple
personality crisis for sure, there
are elements of ourselves in all
our characters. Oderus Urungus is
totally me. Classically, in rock and
roll mythology the lead singer is
usually the most drugged up, the
guy that gets the chicks, is always
getting thrown out of hotels, the
biggest mouth-people accuse
me of that stuff all the time. I've
always been a loud, obnoxious
person."
And wherever the Scumdogs lay
waste, rumors, exaggerated truths
and outright lies inevitably follow.
It's part of GWAR's rabid self-
promotion to incite, affirm and
usually beef-up the outrageous
aura that's sprung up around
them. "You know what I've
heard?" says Brockie. "I heard
that there's a 40-foot penis in our
show. Imagine that, a 40-foot
penis! Try more like fourteen
inches. That's what happens-it
starts off with one journalist trying
to go another writer one better
and it snowballs into a
monstrosity. Ah, I love it."
When asked to confirm a popular
rumor concerning GWAR inciting
a riot at a Virginia Beach gig.
Dave is properly evasive. "Sure
we did," he notes sarcastically.
Of course, the rumor mill can
backfire as it did recently when
the band last visited England.
There, daily tabloids such as the
London Star blasted the group.
accusing them of "turning teenage
rock fans into PARENT KILLERS!"
The stage act was described as
"stomach churning." "wicked" and
carrying out sexual mutilation
tortures. The paper went on to
quote Audrey Harper of the British
Evangelical Alliance on the
Occult, saying, "I am very
concerned at their Satanic
influence over youngsters." As a
result, a number of British shows
were cancelled.
"Honestly, it was like warping
reality for us." Brockie reflects. "It
was warping our view of what
reality was and it also taught us a
big lesson about remembering
that we, as people and our
characters, are two different
things."
"It's amazing. Over there the Star
or the Sun, those rag tabloids you
read in supermarket checkout
lines, are the news! They ran that
story on us and treated GWAR's
characters like they were real.
People in Parliament, preachers,
lawyers, were like, 'Oh my God,
it's disgusting! They're going to
have sex with dead animals!'
Thank God that in America they
don't ban Elvis from eating at
McDonalds."
"Still, I can only think of England
as a total triumph," admits
Jackson. "We were on the 6:00
news, something that's totally
impossible for a band on our level
that's toured as little as we have.
No band gets that kind of press.
Besides, even though those
shows got cancelled, we were
able to reschedule them, playing
to some of the biggest crowds
GWAR's ever seen.
"Still, we didn't kill everybody, so
it looks like GWAR's going to have
to go back to sink the stinkin'
island."
Since it would seem that
GWAR's logical conclusion would BART SIMPSON
be Hunter Jackson's long unfilmed
movie-something the band is
currently working on-with GWAR
a tour de grrr of overstimulation,
why even bother with a record
which doesn't give the listener half
the gore-flecked picture?
"Besides film, it's the only initial
medium for GWAR," admits
Bishop. "We're serious about what
we do, the level of musicianship.
Admittedly, we're not like 'We're
Sepultura...and this means a lot."
We're not Math Rock. I don't
know, call it "Heavy Mottle."
"We catch so much flak about
our music sucking," says Dave.
"It's just noisy punk rock anyway.
You try to play with forty pounds of
dripping, bloody latex hanging off
you in the middle of a football
game while reciting Shakespeare
and then tell me if we suck."
Admittedly, life in the GWAR
camp is getting better. They've
built more complicated props, a
rehearsal space and living
quarters for Slave Pit members.
They've also recently enlisted the
aid of a producer as over-the-top
as GWAR themselves, none other
than the outspoken, volatile.
Ministry main man Al Jorgensen.
"He's a hapless GWAR groupie
that begged us on his bloody
knees to be associated with us in
any way, chuckles Bishop on
Jorgensen's sole producing
contribution to Scumdogs, "The
Horror of Yig." "Naah, we met him
in the bathroom of the Apollo club
in Chicago. We hit if off right
away."
Through it all, the self-proclaimed
GWAR slaves fully realize that
GWAR has a limited life expec-
tancy and don't plan to stick
around forever.
Brockie: "Naaah, we'll sell it to
Hollywood and they'll make a
series of GWAR films-like James
Bond meets Conan the
Barbarian,"
Bishop: "It'll be great. By the last
film we'll have Dom DeLuise as
Beefcake the Mighty, Charles
Nelson Riley as the Sexicutioner,
Danny DeVito as Flattus
Maximus, Don Knotts as Techno-
Destructo, Arnold Schwarz-
ennegar as GWAR Woman...he's
got the tits."
Brockie: "I want Ricardo Montal-
ban to play Oderus."
Now there's a thought, an
episode of Fantasy Island where
EVERYBODY DIES! Can GWAR
toys be too far away?
(From page 78) and has been seen
busting ollies as early as 1968 on
Viewmaster slide carousels.
There is plenty of evidence that
demonstrates Bart's awkwardness
on four wheels. In the first episode
of the Simpsons, when it was just
a side clip on the Tracy Ulman
show, we saw Bart bombing the
biggest hill in Springdale, looking
like he was cool, when suddenly
his baby sister Maggie smokes by
him sucking on the pacifier. No
diehard skater who watched in
horror as Bart left his board
outside the movie theatre when
he snuck in with the bullies is
likely to forgive him for it. And
what's with the parallel stance?
We caught up with some of Bart's
buddies back in Springdale.
"Bart's not the same. His mind
ain't on skating anymore, it's on
making the almighty dollar. The
thing that blew it for me was when
they came out with the spiral.
notebook with Bart's face on it.
Underachiever, right? Bart used to
be the anti-student of all time."
"I hear he's getting his own model
and a shoe sponsor. Sheesh.
Maggie rips on Bart. Bart and
Maggie used to come over to my
mini-ramp and Maggie would be
busting Andrechts and big
backside ollies when Bart could
barely drop in."
"Bart likes to look cool and act
cool and wear the cool clothes but
he ain't cool 'cause he's not
hanging with the bros. He even
went out and got a tattoo just to
try and be cool. He's got a new
girlfriend now, her name is Babs
and she's an airhead. He hangs
out with Scooby Doo and a couple
of the guys from the Smurfs."
"He used wear his hair all spiked
up, but now he's growing his hair
long 'cause the chicks dig it. He
wears leather shorts. He don't
even ride the school bus
anymore, let alone skate to
school."
"Everybody could see it coming. It
was just a matter of time before it
went to his head. He's a good kid
and all, but he's no hero. I'd like to
say that he was a symbol of the
downtrodden masses, the little
guy, but he's not going to let that
happen, he's selling out. The last
time I saw him he had a glazed
look in his eye and was just sitting
on his board staring off into space.
We just skated past. Bart's a
kook."
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