SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST A Social Essay by Generic Mike
In our troubled times, it often seems that the best resort is to prepare for the worst. While
many choose to cower and wish away potential global turmoil, certain select species are
ready for World War III. It is quickly becoming apparent that when our Earth is devastated,
only two species will survive: cockroaches and skateboarders.
Cockroaches and skateboarders are commonly considered pests by a large portion of
society. It is surprising to most, however, that these "pests" are actually busy sharpening
their post-war survival skills in the "concrete jungles" of cities across the nation. Both
creatures are experts in making creative use of their uncompromising urban surroundings.
This is perfect preparation for a world of industrial rubble, where only those in tune with
their environment will survive.
Survivors of a nuclear war must also be prepared to face a number of physical threats.
Cockroaches have have become immune to many deadly toxins. Their resilience and ability
to evade human pursuers is impressive. Skaters have also heightened their resiliency and
evasive abilities. Escape practice comes from provoking then out-skating angry law officers.
Such avoidance techniques will be crucial when faced with post-war threats like irrational
survivors and bloodthirsty mutants (anyone who has been chased by an angry 7-11 clerk
can imagine the severity of genetic distortion among these creatures).
As for anticipating dangerous radiation, this is perhaps the most misinterpreted
preparation act of all. Many assume that the lack of protective gear worn by skaters is
simply their way of being rebellious or "cool." Actually, it helps them build "road rash,"
which eventually becomes a protective layer of scar tissue similar to a roach's shell.
One can imagine how, by simply enacting self-preservation prac-
tices, cockroaches and skateboarders can be deemed as anything
from annoying to disgusting. Perhaps one of the benefits of being
able to survive nuclear war is that the perpetual enmity and
prejudice directed towards said survivors will come to an end. In
turn, it may also allow these unique species to further adapt and
evolve. Just consider how far they've come under society's constant
antagonism. One can only hope that those who choose to ridicule
will realize their grave mistakes and someday follow these creatures"
extraordinary examples.
Opposite Page: Even if all the buildings crumble, survivalists
like Eli Gestner will still shred. Photo by Bill Thomas.
Above: Rolling in from the realm of his roots, Brian Frosted
busts loose some gravel. Sequence by Bryce Kanights.