NINE FOR THE
NINETIES
by Brian Brannon
In the ongoing quest for skate enlightenment there is little
the average board rider will not do. Some meditate. Others
grind it out. Still others seek to free their souls by alighting
their wheels unto the air.
This is the story of a skater names Roses, who sought
the Truth upon a mountain. One windy overcast day he
set out to climb the highest hill in the land. For forty hours
and forty minutes he labored to reach its peak. He would
have driven, but the road was closed to motorized vehicles.
When he finally got to the top, Roses sat and surveyed
the countryside. Lo, it was good. But before his sneakers
had a chance to breathe he was on his cue and screaming
downwards, searching for an answer. Three minutes later,
as Roses stood at the bottom, he wondered if it had all
been for naught.
Roses looked up to the heavens and shook his fists in
a gesture of intense rage. He yelled out mean, obscene
things and held his deck high above his head. But just as
he was ready to smash it to the ground and shatter its
fiberglass/epoxy construction, Roses noticed something
strange about his rough and street-worn wheels. There,
ground in 85 durometer clay, he found what he was look-
ing for: ageless words of wisdom to share with all of
skatedom. No, not the Ten Commandments, it was....
NINE FOR THE NINETIES
1 Thou shalt not deface that which is
rideable, nor shalt thou steal coping from
an otherwise perfect lip.
2 Thou shalt not bear witness against thy
fellow skater unto the ears of the pigs.
3 Thou shalt honor thy mother and father
since they paid for thine skate.
4 Thou shalt not adulterate the scene with
cans, trash or broken bottles.
5 Thou shalt not whisper secret spots unto
the ears of the unrighteous.
6 Thou shalt not bow unto authority which
is false, but thou shouldst flee from that
which weareth a badge.
7 Share pools with others as you would have
them share unto you.
8 Render unto the coping that which is metal
and unto the air that which is tweaked.
9 If none of these rules apply, follow the path
whithin thine own heart.