Skarfing
Material
with Chef-Boy-Am-1-Hungry
Hello again gourmaniacs, Chef-Boy-Am-
I-Hungry here. First of all, thanks to everyone
who contributed recipes to the Festival of
Muck. The response was incredible, and the
concoctions were often even edible! It took
months to evaluate all of the skarfables, but
the results are now in. If you don't see your
sure-to-win snack in this column, fear not
feasible foodstuffs are on file and will be
flambéed in future issues. Now, without fur-
ther adieu, here are the winners of the First
Annual Festival of Muck...
BARBECUE CUPS
• 1 lb. ground beef
½ cup chopped onion
1 clove garlic, crushed
½ cup of your favorite barbecue sauce
½ cup shredded cheddar cheese
2 cups Bisquick ½ cup water
Cook and stir the ground beef, onion and
garlic until the beef is brown. Drain that funky
fat, then stir in the sauce. Mix the 'quick and
water until a soft dough forms (about twenty
vigorous strokes), then drop teaspoonfuls in-
to muffin tin cups (lined with those cute little
paper things). Press the dough into the bot-
tom and up the sides of each cup with floured
hands, spoon the beef mixture in, then
sprinkle the cheese on top. Bake those crit
ters at 400° until the dough is golden brown,
then groat like a goat. Recipe submitted by
Clint Montgomery, Mena, AR.
FIESTY FEUD
4 pieces of chicken (whatever parts you like)
1 tsp. thyme 1 tsp. paprika
1 tablespoon garlic powder or 2 minced cloves
3 carrots, cut into one-inch pieces
1 cup bread crumbs 2 cups orange juice
Wash your poultry well. Dip it in the OJ.
then coat it with a bread crumb and garlic
mixture. Pour the OJ into a baking dish, lay
the bird in it and fling on the carrots. Sprinkle
the thyme and paprika over everything. Bake
at 350° for about an hour, basting the chicken
with the juice frequently. Pull it out, eat and
shout. Recipe submitted by Amber Fetterhoff,
Elliotsburg, PA.
SPEEDY MACARONI CASSEROLE
¼ cup chopped green onion
¼ cup chopped green pepper
½ lb. ground beef
1 can chicken gumbo soup
■1 can cream of chicken soup
1 cup water 1 tsp. salt
2 cups uncooked macaroni
Get a big burly skillet and sauté the onion
and pepper in 2 tablespoons of margarine
or butter, then add the meat and brown it.
Drain the fat then add the soups, water and
salt. Gradually intermingle the mac, cover the
ATOMIC CUISINE
MUCK FEST 89
pan and simmer till the noodles are noodly
(add more water if the liquid gets too thick).
Remove from the skillet and swill it. Recipe
submitted by Sarah M. Severson, Des
Moines, IA.
CHAOS CUCUMBER
1 cucumber
% red pepper, diced
green pepper, diced
1 thin slice of onion, diced
2 eggs 2 strips bacon
sliced Swiss cheese
Cut the cucumber in half lengthwise and
scrape the middle goop out with a spoon.
Beat the eggs, add the peppers and onions,
then scramble that business. Fry the bacon
till it's cooked but not too crispy. Stuff as
much of the egg mixture as you can into the
cuke, then lay the bacon strips on top. Cover
it with the Swiss and bake at about 400° till
the cheese melts. Plate it, then devastate it.
Recipe submitted by John Brazelton, Wading
River, NY
CROSSOVER CREAM CHEESE TARTS
38 oz. packages of Philly cream cheese
3 eggs cup sugar
vanilla wafers canned pie filling
Mix the first three ingredients together until
creamy and smooth. Break out that trusty
cupcake pan and put a wafer flat side down
in the bottom of each cup (pre-sheath the
cups with paper doohickeys). Slag a heap-
ing teaspoonful of cheesiness onto the 'nillas
and top with some pie filling (blueberry,
strawberry, whatever). Bake at 350° for 10
minutes, chill in the fridge for a little while,
then snog till you bog. Recipe submitted by
Toast of Freeville, NY
APPLE CRISPNESS
5 to 6 cups peeled, cored, thinly sliced apples
¼ cup quick-cooking rolled oats
cup brown sugar ½ cup all-purpose flour
¼ tsp ground cinnamon
½ cup butter or margarine
Arrange the apples in a greased 8x111"
baking pan. Combine the oats, sugar, flour
and cinnamon in a bowl. Slap the hunk of
butter into this fragrant mixture. Use two
knives to cut it into slivers and mix everything
together. Sprinkle this load over the apples.
Bake at 350° for 35 or 40 minutes. Serve it
warm with or without cream and mow till you
blow. Yum! Recipe submitted by Keith
Furstenberg, Tecumseh, MI.
DRAINAGE DITCH WATER
2 packages unsweetened grape Kool Aid
1 big can pineapple juice
1 12 oz. can frozen OJ
2 cups sugar 2 quarts water
Mix all of this stuff in a bucket, stick it in
the freezer, then go out and skate. When you
get back and you're dying of thirst, add a
bunch of your DDW to some 7-Up, stir until
it's all slushy and swallow till you wallow.
Recipe submitted by Dustin Devine of
Oklahoma City, OK
SORBO JERK
1 round steak, fat trimmed, cut into thin strips
⚫5 tbsp soy sauce
2 tbsp. salt or salt substitute
2 tbsp. pepper 1 small onion, chopped
2 stalks celery, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced 1 tsp. hot sauce
Place the steak in an oblong pan. Com-
bine all the other ingredients in a sauce pan.
Bring this gruel to a boil then simmer for ten
minutes. When it's cool, strain the liquid and
pour it over the meat. Let it sit in your fridge
for eight hours. After eight hours, remove the
meat and slap in on the broiling pan in a cold
oven. Turn said oven to 125 and leave the
cow in the warm oven for 10-12 hours. You
don't need to refrigerate this, just keep it in
a covered container till you're ready then jaw
it up, Freddy. Recipe submitted by Jeff Sorbo
Bruno, AR.
TASTY YELLOW CHICKEN THANG
3 cooked chicken breasts, diced
1 apple, diced 1 pear, diced
curry power (to taste) S and P (to taste)
1½ cups mayo (or to desired consistency)
Mix the boobs, fruits and goop in a big
bowl. Add all the sprinkly stuff and mix again.
Slap it on bread, lettuce, macaroni or nothing
and rock out. Note: You can substitute tofu
for chicken and it'll still be kickin'. Recipe sub-
mitted by Rob Dunworth, Big Chicago, IL.
THE MMGLPH HUAT OACH AWARD!
This dubious honor goes to the most aargh
inspiring recipe received....
CARAMELOREO BREAKFAST SALAD
.4 eggs
4 Oreo cookies (double stuff)
salt n peppa
butter or Crisco (your choice)
chopped Spam or bologna (your choice)
caramel syrup
Scramble the eggs over medium heat in
the butter or Crisco. Add the smashed Oreo
cookies. Stir in the caramel. Float on the salt
n peppa. Toss in the chopped meat. Cook
it all up, eat it, live it, love it, it's just a
breakfast. Recipe submitted by David
Altepeter, Crookston, MN.
Well, there you have it-another milestone
in visionary vittle history. Keep the spoons
churning, the stove burning and the recipes
rolling in. Chow!
Benig is biginn
Score 14unse
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