Above: Excessive pool skating has always been one of
Tony Alva's habits. Around 1978 8.W (Before Walkman) he managed
to remain plugged in, on or above the lip. Right: In a nutshell,
Steve Olson is and always has been "star material." From
"Skateboarder of the Year" to TDK ads.
Photo: Brad Bowman.
D. the lack of an effective skaters'
rights lobby;
E. the need to purchase a large car in
order to be a law abiding citizen.
2. In the Santa Monica mountains (near
the streets of Los) on any night exists
roller activity beyond the comprehension
of most. High speed is the name of the
game and the identities of the foremost
practitioners must remain underground
for obvious legal reasons. Notice exhibit
A-the ultra fast Mulholland luge route.
The existence of such underground speed
racing skaters indicates (select one):
A. the desire for fun always exceeds
the desire to conform;
B. the need for speed;
C. these men don't work night jobs;
D. there is nothing worth watching on
television;
E. the de-evolution of the species.
3. Following the mass popularity of
skateboarding, a number of interesting
types have entered the skate industry.
The origins of many of these dubious
vendors remain shrouded in obscurity. It
has been noticed that a number of them.
may not have ever ridden a skateboard. It
was once suggested that a manu-
facturer's contest be arranged in which
each equipment maker would be required
to ride his own brand of skateboard down
a hill at 40 miles per hour. It seems self-
evident that such an event would
separate the men from the boys and the
tools from the toys. Which of the follow-
1. The annual energy bill of the United
States of America is 420 billion dollars.
The U.S.A. imports 6.8 million barrels of
oil per day. The amount of time it takes
for the average American car to pollute
the atmosphere with its own weight in
carbon is one year. 47 billion dollars a
year is spent defending oil tankers pass-
ing through the Persian Gulf. It doesn't
take a genius to figure out that in com-
parison to conventional motorized
vehicles, a skateboard is a much more
ecologically responsible mode of
transport. Beyond the energy expended
for its manufacture, the skate vehicle has
no fuel consumption requirements. It is a
small, portable and socially responsible
form of performance travel. Despite
gloomy energy forecasts, dire economic
indicators and impending global environ-
mental catastrophe, the act of skate-
boarding is routinely and unreasonably
outlawed. This indicates (select one):
A. fear of modern thinking;
B. the power of oil companies to
influence legislation;
C. stupidity;
40
To the left we can see back into the year 1973 as a very young
Jay Adams cranks down off the top at Kenter Elementary
School. On one of the legendary giant pipe searches, Stacy
Peralta (right) slashes out with a full-tilt Bertleman.
ing manus does not skate? (select one):
A. Paul Schmitt
B. Tony Alva
C. Vinnie Valterra
D. Stacy Peralta
E. Toshio Taiwan
4. On a public ground in the heart of
Beijing, Red China, a guy named Fong
does axle stalls. State-recognized
organized skate teams abound in the
U.S.S.R. On the streets of Paris a young
homeless beggar sleeps with his only
possession, a skateboard. They're carv-
ing tracks at the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem.
On U.S. television a real handicapped
man skateboards around helping a black
private eye fight crime. The existence of
these skaters proves (select one):
A. skating is a global movement;
B. the outlaws of one country could be
cultural heroes in another;
C. Commies like curbs;
D. fun is where you find it.