cali4nia SKATExpress
OPEN 7 DAYS TOLL FREE ORDERS 1-800-447-8989 CALL US TODAY
COMPLETE...
CUSTOM...
SKATEBOARDS!!
Ready
To Ride
(INCLUDES: GRIPTAPE, BEARINGS RISER PADS & MOUNTING HARDWARE)
ANY
V/DECK
TRUCK
WHEEL
$104.95
(STANDARD ITEMS ONLY)
HUGE SELECTION VISION POWELL/PERALTA SANTA CRUZ G&S SIMS 100's TO CHOOSE FROM ALVA
ea.
T-SHIRTS $11
95
BUY FOUR, GET A FREE
"CSE" T-SHIRT
#19
26 tion
VISION
STREET
WEAR
#12
VANS COLORS:
BLACK & RED
BLACK & BLUE,
WHITE & GREY
ALL BLACK
BEN
VANS
#18
OR
OFF THE WALL
BLACK & WHITE SKULLS
24
+ Hundreds Of Others
VISION
STREET
WEAR
BLUE
VISION COLORS: BLACK
call4nia SKATExpress PHONE ORDERS!
MAIL ORDER SPECIALISTS
1-800-447-8989
IN
CALIF. 209 229-7171
4629 N. BLYTHE, FRESNO, CALIFORNIA 93711
MAIL ORDERS
GREY
GREEN
RED
HI-TOPS
In Stock
Ready To Ship
$3496
Use your VISA, Mastercard, or American Express COD's Welcomed. Cash
certified check or money order upon delivery.
List items desimd Give three color choices (subsiturions are sometimes
necessary) California residents add 65% sales tax. Credit Card Orders: Print
card member's name, address, gity, state, ap, card, expiration date, phone and signature on blank sheet of paper
Personal Check: include drivers loinse a, state and date of birth. In continental US add $600 for shipping/handingin-
surance for orders under $50.00 Add $8.00 for orders over 5000 Hawal Alaska/Puerto Rico/Canada orders add $16.00 (foreign
orders $18.00 surface, 5000 air). CONTINENTAL US ORDERS ONLY: SEND CASH OR MONEY ORDER ONLY AND RECEIVE
FREE SHIPPING ON ORDERS OVER $50.00.
CUSTOMER SERVICE Problems with other mail-order concerns? No problems
here. Our staff strives to satisfy your needs. Call us at
(209) 229-7171 with your questions. We have built our reputation on quality service, huge selection and mind-boggling prices!
Skarfing
Material
She told me she was born in a cemetery.
She said her mother was attending her great
aunt's funeral when labor began. Everyone
mistook her groans of agony for outbursts of
grief and it was half an hour before anyone
realized their true cause. Half an hour moan-
ing in grey drizzle, one more hour grunting
on a granite slab, and Moira was a member
of the outside world. Screaming, red and
wrinkled-born on a tombstone, but as far
from death as she would be for the rest of
her life. The candle flame made shadows
dance on her mascara. Her black nail sliced
with Chef-Boy-Am-1-Hungry
the wine label in half. I didn't believe the story
for a second, but it was her house and her
food so I merely smiled...
ROLLS OF EXISTENCE
1 cup baby fuel (milk)
1 tbsp sugar
• 2 tbsp butter
• 3/4 tsp salt
1 pkg active dry yeast
2 tbsp warm water (105° to 115°)
.1 egg
2 2/3 cup all purpose flour
These recipes take some time to make.
Don't waste a sunny day cooking. Wait until
it's gloomy outside, put on to your favorite
albums, then venture into the kitchen and
think about how great life is. Yeast is alive
and must be treated with respect or it will
mock your meal. It's been said that yeast
knows when you're afraid of it. Talk to it, let
it know how much you appreciate its sacrifice
and then get your hands dirty.
Heat fuel till it's hot (stir it so it doesn't burn
and don't let it boil), then add sugar, butter
and salt. Stir till they commingle harmon-
iously. Wake the yeast from its state of
suspended animation by mixing it with the
warm water. If the water's too hot, you'll kill
the yeast; if it's too cold the yeast won't wake
up. Add two teaspoons of sugar to the yeast
and witness the miracle of birth. When the
milk muck has cooled and the yeast starts
to bubble, unite the two liquids. Beat in the
egg. Stir in enough of the flour to make a
slightly sticky dough, then dump onto large
counter or cutting board with rest of flour.
Knead the dough by pushing down with the
palms of your hands, then folding over,
pushing down, folding over, etc., for five
minutes. Add more flour as you knead;
enough to make a smooth, slightly sticky
dough. Put dough into a greased bowl
covered by a damp shroud and allow the
yeast to feast in a warm place till it bloats and
doubles in bulk (about 30 minutes). Punch
the dough down and dissect into individual
wads. Place into greased coffins, annoint
with melted butter and leave in warm place
for half an hour while you mourn. It's a closed
casket service, so make sure you cover them
with a damp shroud again. Cremate in
preheated 450° oven for 20 minutes,
reincarnate, then masticate. "
GRAVEDIGGER STEW
3 lbs. diced flesh
• 1 can blood
•1 can embalming fluid run-off
Dried newt talls
Pinch of ash
1 tbsp patchoull oll
• Sawed-up rib bones
• 1 dloed potato
Combine all ingredients in a cauldron with
one cup holy water. Cremate at 350° for one
hour, then turn oven down to 325° and cook
for two more hours. Exhume, then consume.
(Alternate ingredients include beef, tomato
soup, cream of mushroom soup, a package
of onion soup mix, chili powder, Worcester-
shire sauce, and sliced celery and carrots.)
(Submitted by Jon Coles of Coopersburg, PA)
A WAKE SHAKE
• 3 scoops vanilla ice cream
• 3 tbsp ground coffee
• 1 cup milk
• ½ cup chocolate chips
⚫ pinch of cinnamon
Combine in a blender and agitate till it all
coagulates. Drink it, then go out and skate.
BURIED ALIVE!
Get out from underneath that smelly heap
of dirty laundry! Give those old rags a decent
burial and then rejuvenate your wardrobe
with an official Shark Taco t-shirt. Just send
$10.75 (postage and handling included) to:
THRASHER, Shark Taco T-shirt, P.O. Box
884570, San Francisco, CA 94188-4570.
37