ATEGEAL
RATEGIAS
G&S
Gordon & Smith 7081 Consolidated Wy. San Diego, CA 92121-2604
N
Skarfing
Material
by Chef-Boy-Am-I-Hungry
Just sitting here on the porch. I'm only five
years old. Me an' dad just got back from
fishing. My hand is sore, pounding. Darni
fishing hook jabbed into it when I tried to yank
it out of the mouth of a large bass. That fish.
went and swallowed that darn hook.
So here I am. My hand sore and my mind
wonderin' how many books I'm gonna have
to carry to school, cuz next week I start.
kindergarten. I know that when you go to
school, you're supposed to carry books.
What is in the books, I don't know. I can't read
yet. I just know you're s'posed to carry books.
I've been practicing too! Yeah, I get a
bunch of Life magazines, cookbooks, and my
Dr. Seuss books and practice carrying them
up and down our long driveway.
Our driveway isn't just any driveway. This
driveway is dangerous in the daytime. I don't
know why, it's just what I'm told.
I'm jerked from my daydreams by a com-
motion to the side of the steps, next to the
house. A king snake and a rattler are going
at it, and it looks like the king snake is winnin
I run and get Mike and Joe-Jo, my friends
who live over in the next duplex. By the time
we get back, Dad has chopped up both
snakes with a hoe, and we watch their little
pieces wriggling around in their own
individual mortal deaths.
Still, I wonder what is gonna be inside
those school books and if I will have to climb
a bunch of steps to get into school. I know
there will be pretty girls, but I don't know what
I am going to say to them.
Little do I know, two years from now some-
one will invent the skateboard.
ETAP REVIL
5 tbsp. butter or marg.
% pound drained chicken livers
• 3 tbsp. brandy
1 hard boiled egg
• 2 med. sized onions, peeled and chopped
•¾ tsp. salt
⚫% tsp. pepper
1 minced garlic clove
First thing you gotta do is hard boil the
egg. Place the egg in a saucepan with
enough cold water to cover it. Bring to slow
boil over medium heat and let boil for about
15 minutes. Run cold water into pan until
egg is cold. You might want to make an extra
one and put it back in with the regular eggs
for a joke.
Melt two-fifths of the butter in a skillet over
low heat. Throw in the onions and cook
them until they're soft and golden, but not
brown. Should take about ten minutes. Toss
the onions into a mixin' bowl and forget
about them for a few minutes.
Turn up the heat a little bit. Add another
fifth of butter. Stir in the livers and cook,
baby, cook, for five minutes, or until they're
pink all the way through. Throw 'em in with
the onions.
Throw daddy's expensive brandy into the
skillet and boil until one tablespoon is left.
Pour in with the livers and onions.
Take apart the egg and throw the yolk into
the mixture, add salt, pepper and garlic.
Then mash it all up with a fork. Also, you
could, if you want, get brave and use your
mom's blender or food processor for
blending the mixture, which will actually
make it all the creamier.
Spoon your mush into a custard cup or a
coffee cup. Mince the egg white and sprinkle
it on top of the cups.
Chill for about an hour. While you're
waiting, picture yourself popping down in
front of the boob-tube to a colorized classic
and munching down some crackers with this
spread and some good-stanky-cheese
and washin' it down with some of your dad's
expensive wine. (These may be substitued
with Gilligan's Island, Doritos, Cheez Whiz
and Kool-Aid.)
WORMS
"White or Red Men's Shirts." This saying
means absolutely nothing, so I wouldn't.
worry too much about it, unless you're at
W.A.S.P. Buy Skarfing Material T-shirts. Send
$10.25 (postage and handling included) to
THRASHER Magazine, c/o Skarfing Material
T-Shirt, PO Box 884570, San Francisco, CA
94188-4570. Now, what do you call "nuts on
a wall?" What do you call "nuts on your
chest?" What's a "Henweigh?"