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AIR WALK
Holiday D
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Skarfing
Material
THE PERPETUAL QUESTION FOR THE
PERPETUAL ANSWER
I carefully watched as the flea made its
curious trek through the hair on my chest,
biting me once, twice...three times. The
phone rang. I didn't answer it because I was
too busy at this moment, and the flea nip-
ped at my flesh several more times before
the ringing stopped. Steadily working its
way toward my left nipple, the flea, upon
reaching the blue tatoo of the naked lady
surgeon, suddenly turned back to the right.
I sensed the flea had some class, whatever
flea class is.
I sneezed and the flea leapt from my
breast over to the nightstand. I swiftly
brought my beer bottle down upon this less
than intelligent, brown, jumping, blood-
sucking pest. I'm pretty sure I missed the
flea, but the spray of broken glass was well
worth the effort. In the corner of the darkly
lit room, I could see her, slumped upside.
down on the 1930's Art Deco couch. Her
feet were resting upon the wall, thighs on
the back of the couch, her shapely back on
the seat cushion and the top of her head
pointed to the soiled, linen-littered hard-
wood floor.
One end of a large piece of raw liver
rested just at the top of her well defined.
cleavage and stretched down her sensuous
throat, over her small, pert chin and bottom
lip where it ended. helplessly clamped
between perfect, pearly white teeth. She
shuddered an instant, and her hand lunged
at the dead flesh on her chest. She clenched
the object firmly, giving no thought to its
origin.
Amazingly, the evening began as an
innocent outing to see the movie Barfly.
Somehow, Barfly had set the mood for the
evening. It's sardonic tale of Henry Chinaski
and Wanda Wilcox, two people trying to
escape the mainstream nine-to-five eternal
rat-race standard way of life by submerging
themselves in the bottomless bottles of
booze and the dark, yellow staleness of a bar
(The Golden Horn-A Friendly Place."), sort
of seduced us into a wild, carefree episode
of acting out parts of the movie. We recited
classic lines and toasted the gutter-prone
slime as our new friends, while stumbling,
swinging, brawling and bleeding at the
appropriate moments. We lived the movie.
and the poison too. When we got home, she
tried to whip up some blender food to eat with
tortilla chips.
BIG BAD BARD BLEND
• 4 eggs
1 tsp salt
2 tbsp fresh garlic (chopped)
½ fresh tomato (chopped)
a onion (finely chopped)
2½ tsp curry
• ¼ cup broccoli
4 tsp bacon bits
• cooking oil
She slowly put some oil in the old
saucepan she found behind the stove. It
musta landed back there when we rolled
across the counter top in all of our madness.
by Chef-Boy-Am-I-Hungry
After heating up the oil, she threw in the
garlic and swirled it around in the pan so it
wouldn't burn. Then she threw in the salt and
the tomatoes and let them simmer. Next
came the eggs, which she scrambled into the
mixture until it cooked good and hot. While
this was happening, she plunked the
remaining ingredients into a blender, and
pushed the "frappe" button for five seconds
which pulped the material into a consistent
texture, whereupon she added the egg
matter and pushed the "whip" button for
about the time it takes me to slam gulp a
twelve ounce can-roughly fifteen seconds.
When she walked over to pour it in a bowl,
she slipped on one of the pieces of liver we
were throwin' at each other before she
decided to make blender food. Well the BIG
BAD BARD BLEND flew all over us and the
kitchen, so we got the tortilla chips and
started scraping it off each other and eatin'
it. Next thing I know, I'm starin' at some flea.
TORSO COVERS
Hey readers, hot tip! Go see the movie
Barfly and emotionally experience the life of
the not-so-lucky. I suggest you wear a
Skarfing Material T-shirt, because it's the
kind of thing you'd wear to a good movie like
this. If you don't already have one, send
$10.25 (postage and handling included) to
THRASHER Magazine, Skarfing Material
T- shirt. Post Office Box 884570, San
Francisco, CA 94188-4570, and you can get
your very own beer drinkin, movie watchin."
food cookin' t-shirt.
43