TAHITI
THE TAKEOVER OF AN ISLAND
by Mike McEntire
This is the story of three skate missionaries lost in the tropics.
Background Material
Location: Tahiti, French Polynesia; Languages: French, Tahitian; Lifestyle: Very Relaxed;
Main Sports: Canoeing, Surfing; State of Skate: Barely Alive; Favorite Animal: Pit Bull
The Characters
Sick Boy-A native San Franciscan skater.
F-Stop-A skater of the first wave turned filmmaker.
Tin-Tin-A surf/skate type from Northern Cal., who bears
great resemblance to the French cartoon character, Tin-Tin.
The Situation
F-Stop and Tin-Tin have been on the island for two weeks
promoting a surf/skate film and setting up demos for Sick
Boy, who will arrive shortly. The general public has been
assaulted by a barrage of radio spots and newspaper artides,
alerting them somewhat to the coming storm.
DAY ONE: CULTURE SHOCK
Wrenched from the land of sleep by cockadoodledooing
roosters at the ungodly hour of 5:00 a.m., Tin-Tin and
F-Stop come to the groggy realization that Sick Boy arrives
today. The weather is hot, humid and overcast-not a good
omen for skate sessioneers in the South Pacific.
F-Stop: "These people have no idea about what's going
to happen." Tin-Tin: "They'll learn, they'll learn."
Moments later, at the International Airport, Sick Boy looks
very out of place with a bleached crew-cut stubble, Jordans,
jacket and long pants. The long-haired, thong-clad locals
give him curious looks. He walks at least twice as fast as
anyone else in the direction of the two other hoole popa
types.
F-Stop: "How was your flight?" Sick Boy: "Harsh realm."
Tin-Tin: "Explain."
Sick Boy: "Have you ever sat next to a lesbian rugby team
with southern accents and sick senses of humor for eight
hours? Damn, it's hot."
Tin-Tin and F-Stop laugh at the
fact that he is in hyperspace com-
pared to the relaxed Tahitians.
Sick Boy: "What time is it here?"
F-Stop: "7:30 a.m." Sick Boy: "What are all these people
doing up so early?" Tin-Tin: "Forget about it. We're going
surfing."
They drive south to the beach.
Sick Boy: "So, is there anywhere to skate around here?"
In answer, the Honda makes a sharp left and begins the
long
ascent up the smooth, horseshoe bends of Residence
Taina. This is an exclusive area with luxurious homes owned
by wealthy French and Chinese citizens. After a last oil burn-
ing acceleration, the summit is reached. The car pulls up
alongside a huge baby blue half-pipe with a view of majestic
Morea island in the background.
Sick Boy: "No way, it's perfect!" F-Stop: "We'll come
back later when they're awake." Tin-Tin: "We should skate
down the hill." Sick Boy: "Yeah, we will."
The two skates hit the ground with a blap and a gack
and are instantly in motion down the hill. The harsh sounds
of street slides rip the early morning calm, and for down
the road a Doberman's ears prick up. His lips curl back
to expose vicious teeth as the unfamiliar noise comes closer
and closer. About fifty feet from the dog a huge cockroach,
heavily laden with a cheese puff type of food, is making
his way across the road. The screeching sounds of approach-
ing street saws puts the dog in a frenzied state as the skaters
round the corner and come into his field of vision. Sick
Bay throws a fifteen foot slide and comes around just to
the right of the cockroach. The roach looks up in terror
just before the pink wheels of Tin-Tin's skate mush his life
bail and the Honda runs over his skate
into a slimy block and yellow smear. Tin-Tin runs out the
Tin-Tin: "Harshabilly, dude! F-Stop: "At least it didn't
break."
Meanwhile, the burly barks of the hell-bent Doberman
draw Tin-Tin's and F-Stop's attention. Using his skate as
a defensive device, the Sick One is barely keeping the beast
at bay. The Doberman latches onto the tail of the Sick One's
skate as F-Stop comes to a sliding, honking halt in the
Honda. The psychotic canine relinquishes the skate and Sick
Boy jumps into the car. ►
Top: French Polynesia is known to captivate one's
attention with it's historical landmarks like this
one on Pt. Venus. Above: A young Tahitian
barefoots a backside. Opposite: Bryce Kanights
slaps down a rail on a narrow ramp during Tahiti's
first-ever skate demo
46
LAROU