CODE NAME:
VIPER
followed by Christ, who does the same.
The locals have probably never seen
anything like this before.
"Christian Hosoi! AHHH!" CRUNCH
CRUNCH! It rains and everyone retires to the
disco/bar/food place for beer and cold pasta.
Inside, there is a different motif/decor in each
room-from heaven, to hell, to purgatorio.
We all feel at home. Even I. This lifestyle
is even more adventursome than the spy
business. "LANCE MOUNTAIN! AAARGHH!"
CRUNCH CRUNCH!
At 0200 hours it stops raining. It's time for
the Milan crew to demonstrate three-man drop
ins off the lip on a sheet of plywood. Landing
in heaps at the bottom, they appear joyous
and triumphant. Other than the aforemen
tioned activity, there is
nothing suspicious to report
here.
The following day, several
of the group tour the ruins
of the Roman Forum. Many,
many ruins. More than one
tour guide's speech is dis-
rupted by the rancorous,
social deviants. Christ sings
and disco-dances atop a
broken marble pillar. Dick
Steele steals a rock. Forum
cops keep a close eye on
group. Group eludes Forum
cops. Forum cops find
group, who are posing for
photographs upon statue
pedestals on the grounds
where the "House of the
Vestal Virgins" once stood.
Loud whistle pierces the
air.
"I'm sorry, I don't speak
Italian. English please."
Amsterdam for unknown reasons. Suspicions
arise, as Amsterdam is a haven for interna-
tional spies. The rest head off to Venice, which
is where I point my nose and follow.
Still no word from the duo of "Gator" and
"Gonz."
VENICE
Arrive at 0300; the place looks deserted.
There are no roads, only canals and sidewalks.
This makes it hard to hail a taxi.
At this point, much of the crew are loaded
down with two to three times the amount of
luggage they started with. No one wants to
carry these loads while looking for lodging.
Alas, a boat is spotted chugging up the
canal and for the small price of a brightly col-
ored watch, it is commandeered.
Checking out of the hotel the next morn
ing, the entourage is greeted outside by no
less than seven Venetian military security
guards with seven Uzi's. Thomas, the group's
mouthpiece, explains we're on our way out.
around, do some fancy footwork stuff and fall
down without my feet falling off. I made it look
real good. Luckily, they told me not to go to
too much trouble on their account, but thanks
anyway.
On to Vienna.
VIENNA, AUSTRIA
Arrive at depot, 0630 with no sleep. Whip-
ping out a scrap of paper, Steele says he has
a phone number and heads for the telephones.
German is the official language of Austria.
Lance says the only German Steele knows
is how to order cold beer.
Returning, Steele looks satisfied. Despite
his careless research, we are to be picked
up in a few minutes by the Sinaiberger
brothers, Tom and Bob. We are led to a
halfpipe, the Mt. Sinai ramp.
A few more nails still need to be pounded
before it can be ridden. Its rugged construc-
tion is little deterrent to Lance and Caballero,
who provide a short demonstration of their
VIN
ARIAN
INVENTACOSDESI
TANNN XILVG
SENATUS
prowess before it begins.
pouring rain, accompanied
by tumultuous, bone-
shaking thunder.
Tom and Bob hospitably
offer their home for our com-
fort, Tom buys Steele's
nearly-new pair of Levi's
501's for the equivalent of
sixty U.S. bucks.
The Sinaiberger brothers
are the original skate-
boarders of Vienna, having
been active for the last ten
years. Because of their un-
dying devotion, skating has
survived here arid is steadily
growing.
They cannot conceal their
excitement, for this is the first
time a professional skate-
boarder has rolled wheels
on Viennese soil. They tell
us that the night before,
Gonz and Gator phoned for us and said they
would be arriving in the next day or two. We
all wonder how they found us out here in
Large, carved marble along the "Via Scara" (the Sacred Way) in the Roman Forum.
(L-R) Caballero, Thomas, Christ, Roskopp
"EXIT," is the plain english response.
Returning to the hotel, Lance loses his board.
into the street while street skating. A bus runs
it over and drags it half a block. Lance laughs,
grabs the skate, takes it to Roskopp and
Steele's room, tucks it into Steele's bed and
pours warm beer all over it. A curious funeral
ritual.
FIRENZE (FLORENCE)
From the selected Pensione, Christ can smell
it. "A discotheque is in the vicinity," he says.
Undoubtedly, these men possess many
strange talents. Through either instinct or car-
nal knowledge, the place is located. Duncan
gets in for half price because he couldn't dance
with a broken leg.
The bar is a long, multi-tank aquarium con-
taining hundreds of large, flesh-eating piranha
fish.
•Five-thousand dollars worth of leather goods
and other bizarre merchandise is purchas-
ed in the market place. Again, the credit cards
slice the air
64
Duncan and Roskopp make a beeline for
Evade potentially bad scene. I still feel like
we're being watched.
Somehow Christ loses wallet and with it
his passport, plane ticket, Eurail pass, credit
cards and petty cash. The rest of us street
skate everywhere, whenever possible. Venice
police learn to dislike skateboarders.
Ngoho, Lance and Christ are yelled at by
an old man for skating on some church steps.
While he's yelling, a little dog strolls up and
craps on the same steps.
Vienna, Austria, is the next declared stop.
Thomas and Ngoho decide to stay on with
Christ, who can't leave the country without
identification. They seek an embassy and
learn the closest one is back in Milan. The
big tour has now narrowed down to two
skateboarders (Cab and Lance), Dick Steele
and myself. I can't seem to get any more code
words out of these guys, so I figure if they
can't help me, maybe I can help them. Grab-
bing one of their boards I tell 'em, "Hey, I'll
skate in your tour." I conjure up all the skate-
knowledge I've acquired over the past three-
and-a-half weeks, jump on the board, move
Vienna.
Gonz and Gator show up the next morn-
ing as a session is just getting underway. The
Viennese skate activists and supporters howl
and bellow to the sounds of the air being sliced
and the lip being battered, as their hearts
pound furiously in their chests.
On a short drive-through tour of old Vienna
we are shown the State Opera House (where
greats like Beethoven and Mozart once:
played), the Art History Museum and the
compound that was once the residence of
Archduke Franz Ferdinand (whose 1914
assassination in Sarajevo ignited World War
I). Saving the best for last, Tom shows us the
strip where the prostitutes hang out. He says
it's legal here. Vienna has the best looking
prostitutes I've ever seen.
During dinner at Beethoven Haus (a)
restaurant converted from Ludwig's old house).
which is graced with the presence of Mr. and
Mrs. Sinaiberger, Steele (Continued on page 100)
العاد
Benno Possession
Thunder
RED DOG