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CHESAPEAKE BAY
PARANOIA
A sweeping overview of the Hell ramp environs with a session in progress.
PHOTOS BY DAVE BOJA
HELL RAMP TEETERS
By Solomon Sponge
DUNDALK, MARYLAND-I am trying to
whip together a story about more than a month
of outrageous skating and good times at one of
the East Coast's best but least-known steel ramps.
Over 48 hours of non-stop rain, non-stop drink-
ing and non-stop thoughts about the skaters of
Hell Ramp versus Maryland politicians has
created a numbness that can only be cured by
another belt of mezcal and maybe even the worm.
Yes, I'll be meeting the worm before sunrise, if
there is one, but only after I have wrapped up
this all-too-common tale of the system putting
the screws to skaters once again. The difference
here, though, is that Hell Ramp skaters have not
yet been crushed into corn meal by the grinding
wheel of government hypocracy, but the chances
of survival are slim at best. I hold little hope
for Maryland skaters and residents who must en-
dure the life and times of kings on the wages and
means of paupers, Saludo..
There are a lot of things to do in Dundalk,
Maryland. The city, located at the most
southeastern point of the Baltimore Beltway and
wedged between Baltimore and the Chesapeake
Bay, is filled with gas stations, bars, shopping
centers and industrial plants-all the places
where a mother loves to see her son hang out
and enjoy the gifts of a free society. But on a
swampy penninsula separating Back River from
the Bay, accessible only from the water or the
long downhill run from the Beltway south to
routes 151 then 20, there rise three half-pipe.
ramps from the sand and seagrasses. Like great
pyramids growing out of the rain forests of the
Sierra Madre, they draw local skaters, as the
pyramids once drew Aztecs eager to worship
before them.
The Chesapeake Pipeline, as the ramp area
is called, lies less than two miles (by water) from
the dying Bethlehem Steel Corporation, at Spar-
rows Point, and satisfactorily offers up a parallel
between the way of life of an ancient people who
all but died off over 450 years ago and the peo-
ple who inhabit this area today. Now, with Neil
Young loudly drilling "Cortez the Killer"
through the tape player, and the more mezcal
I drink, the more the similarity between the
righteous Aztecs and the skaters of the
Chesapeake Pipeline become apparent... ►
67