ON BOARD
72
COMING EVENTS
Dec 7th
SKATE FOR PEACE
Scottsdale Community College
Scottsdale, AZ
Street style contest starting at 10:00 am
Following the contest will be a free concert
promoting skateboarding and world
peace. Call: Brian-(602) 941-0999
Ex. 305.
Dec 28th and 29th
CAMBODIA NEW YEARS JAM
Cambodia Ramp Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Promises to be a radical contest with top
ams, sponsored and unsponsored from up
and down the East Coast, including
Virginia and Georgia: Ramp has just been
rebuilt with 9 transitions and new pool
and steel coping. For info: Dave-(305)
476-7751 or Brian-(305) 581-6853
HACKIN' AND HEWIN
THRASHER Electronic Bulletin Board.
For up to the minute information on
events, music, skate scene and other
happenings use your computer to call
(415) 822-5630 4:30 pm to 8:30 am. PST.
Thrasher Board supports 300 and 1200
baud modems
The much discussed, allegedly top
secret Powell/Peralta video is rumored to
be near completion. Kevin Ancell, prince
of Dogtown (the district, not the company)
graphic design is said to be scoring an
abandoned warehouse for the gala
star-studded video premiere. Wise word
has it that selected insiders such as
G.S.D., Mountain, D.D.M., Grosso and
Jay Smith have premiered the first rushes.
Other talk relates certain key sequences
being viewed by Art Harris (AWH), Larry
Balma and Mr. Novak. Someone men-
tioned the word death-defying. Another
manufacturer wondered about the sport's
public image. Typically, no one that "knows"
is talking. Further rumor relates that Alaric
Valentin is organizing an elite hard-core
New York jam sessions for the soundtrack.
You know business is good when Mark
Gonzales moves out on mommy and
starts shopping for Jacuzzis and marble
fireplaces.
Business of the month: "The Sand
Shop," St. Louis, MO's finest surf shop. Yes
you know it's all over when People
Magazine keeps track of the "explosion of
surfwear and beach related accessory
sales in the land-locked Midwest.
RASH
The N.VS.A. is lobbying public servant
types for a new Virginia ramp. Recent
press coverage such as, "Skaters lobby for
public ramps," cronicle the association's
valiant grassroots attempt at manipulating
the political process. Stayed glued for
details. Did you know the average double
tennis court costs over $52,000, while
government statistics place the price of a
32 half pipe at only $10,000?
Can it be
BUSTS OF THE MONTH
denied that there is a Negative lon
Generator in the Bones Art Room?
Britt Parrott has returned, (yes again),
to the land of milk and surf. Yep, maybe he
liked California more than he thought.
Danforth, on the other hand, has
ventured back home because he hates it
there.
Fabled N.Y. Dreamwheels parties have
allegedly been penetrated by spies from
the transit authority.
Fausto V. has officially turned junkman.
It seems he was observed trying to unload
very used 1955 Chevrolet parts at scrap
meets.
MORE LUXURY TREASURES
Legendary street monster Jesse
Martinez is contemplating now moves. His
recovery from serious injuries underway,
he now skates with crutches atop a special
model designed for hospital duty.
And just to prove that only the good don't
die young; could that be Mr. Hobie Alter,
the much documented surt/sail designer,
continuing to run up an impressive tally of
winners at the track. It seems his string of
horses is on a roll. No verification yet as to
Vicki Vickers is rumored to be dancing
in a demented South Dallas revue. (See
accompanying photo.)
whether or not his liability insurance for a
skateboard company will come through.
The one-time publishers of Skateboar
der and Action Now mags are at it again.
Yes, skate fans, it seems that those
veteran waterboys at the Surfer Publishing
Group are fabricating a new videotape
detailing the history of skateboarding.
Names such as Brian Gillogly, James
Cassimus, Warren Bolster, Lance Smith
and Glenn "Covers Only" Friedman are
mentioned as potential players. A promi-
nent former employee was overheard
telling Surfer Publisher Mr. Pez. that their
decision to fold Skateboarder was a million
dollar blunder. (Any resemblance to
persons living or dead is purely coinciden-
tal here.) All we can say is have you ever
tried to ride a skateboard in the sand?
American Indian skater Darrin Henry is
reportedly being sought after the mysteri-
ous appearance of some very anti-gov-
emmental type murals on the banks of
Ballona Creek Los Angeles area newspap
ers are said to be investigating the signifi
cance of the matter.
And from the rust belt...So you thought
skate parks were artificial and police state
oriented? Well try on t 3 latest miracle of
technological recreation. For under sixty
million you and a few friends can construct
your own beach plus variable action wave
generation module. (To us of the concrete
persuasion, that's a wave machine.)
COWABUNGA, this is the biggest thing to
hit the surfing world since perennial U.S.
Champion Corky Carroll's defection to the
Miller Lite Beer All Stars. Ponder the
possibilities of variable tubes in a stagnant
tank of chlorine. Imagine the sensual thrills
to be gained walking with a bleached
blonde Betty across acres of clean, pink,
plastic sand. Plus, on the weekends you
can gain big bucks renting Boogie Boards
to those Vally-types. (Of course, to a real
surfer it's all Big Valley.) But wait, there's
more. Sparing no expense to bring home
the news, our intrepid publisher dispatched
top new agency photog Wesley Bocxe to
obtain hard filmatic evidence. Bocxe, who
was on the first plane to land in the
earthquake zone of Mexico City and
fequently documents revolutions, military
takeovers, assassinations, natural disas
ters and sick public spectacles such as the
Super Bowl, more than met his match
when he encountered the flotsam and
jetsam of surfing's elite somewhere "just
outside Allentown, Pensylvania. Could
mere words describe the indignities
suffered by Wesley as he struggled to
capture the essence of this Coppertone-
hued decadance? Frankie and Annette,
plus all the gang, partied out for a festive
week in wave conditions of questionable
nature. (Someone claimed that the
machine was stuck on eighteen inches,
forcing professional surfing's best to battle
Wave park near Allentown, PA.
for the bucks in low gear.) We advise you to
search the crowd shot to spot Mr. Wes in
Beach Blanket Bingo disguise. Perhaps i
soeone could add quickset concrete to the
pond and convert this masturbatory
fantasy into something usable such as a
skateable parking lot.
Is there truth to the rumor that magazine
magnate Peggy Cozens is intensely
afraid of bees? Is Brian Ridgeway going
to actually airmail her a box to find out? Is
Goodrich going to photograph her sup-
rised reaction as she opens the box?
Sounds like the old X-Mas party at Tracker
Trucks will be a true adventure this year.
QUOTE OF THE MONTH
"I can't remember, I'm in and out too fast."
Brad Dorfman
Big George and the Gullwing crew have
been sighted about the skatecourse taping
their new video documentary.
SAN JOSE VICE-Has not THRASHER
Ed Ted been seen sporting the ultra-slick
Miami Vice comeback recently? On a
recent morning following maneuvers he
even attempted to borrow a jar of Dippity-
Do hair stickum from Kevin Staab. Lester
the K, who was nearby mirror dancing, has
remained unavailable for comment. Don
Johnson's real competition in loveland will
most certainly be Miami Street Scott, the
one-time high iron worker turned fashion
plate.
RUMORS DEPT.
Wonder never ceases as many talk
about the voracity of Grisham's latest
business deal. Rumors now have Erik's
per board royalty ranging from eight to 150
dollars per unit.
And from our motorsport file comes our
first monthly embarassment. Try this tale
on for dubious achievement. After eating a
couple of pounds of raw garlic, Dickvak
was motoring in his primo prestige Euro-
pean luxury import when he spotted a
rather large boulder or meteorite (choose
one) coming at him at a tremendous rate of
speed. Using his formidable race driving
experience Novak dexteriously guided
the Santa Cruz Team Beriz from "certain
death" to the torrid zone of transmission-
wise. The bottom of the car was a total,
however, Mr. Novak's aggressive agility
saved the rare meteorite for scientific study
at the Smithsonian. Curiously, certain
Santa Cruzians told a less herioc tale
involving Dickvak and a curb in Cas-
troville, The Artichoke Capital of the World.
Macintyre is keeping quiet as he is
devoting all energies into trying to gain
more free advertising for his public per
sonna in this sad column.
ECSTASY IN HOUSTON DEPT When
the Shut Up And Skate series comes to
Houston, people listen. They also talk,
scream, steal and heal. Newton and the
Harmony types had selected a top quality
ramp built atop the ruins of an authentic
seventies skatepark. (Archeologists will no
doubt find the site's shards of blue ceramic
tile and coping as very significant.) Most
anyone who mattered was there with the
possible exception of Louis B. Dorfman,
whom was holding a secretaries only clinic
in the top floor of his mansion. Some such
as Eddie R. were stolen from. Some who
were caught stealing were given free
dental work. With much of the Houston
area, economically depressed street
beggars and starving children were very
much in evidence. The ramp contest was
priced reasonably as prices go. Caballero
celebrated his twenty-first birthday by
downing his first four (legal) coolers in
rapid succession. He later got a hipper,
eighth place and a TV. interview. His Friday
night twenty minute guitar solo was a
classic. (Yes it appears true that the
Faction has broken up officially.) Newtron
ran an officially dry contest in a state where
open containers in automobiles are legal.
Cruise night on the main drag was predicta-
bly live. Legions of drunks kept shaking
MoFo's hand and calling him an Indian.
No. 's, the club, featured skate videos
before, during and after the contest. Allen
Losi, Lester, Steadham, Gator and Dan
Wilkes all looked famous to the crowd.
Ridgeway, "the best team manager in the
sport," was too busy to talk to his team's
sponsor...how's that for dedication? No
Practice showed and played. Tex Gibson
looked ace on guitar with Bark Hard.
Craig Johnson rode his legend into the
money and appeared careless. Phillips
wore a sling, judged and hung out with
attractive female art-types. The N.J. Devil
rode mean, clean and kept quiet as he
ON BOARD
executed an undisclosed plot, while
Rocco did tricks seldom seen outside of a
circus. Mountain didn't get into a fight and
made enough money to pay for some
ceiling insulation. Chris Miller exceeded
all limits, Blender and Ruff burned
inscense and played folk songs on guitar.
Peralta, it is said, video taped the contest
from a tree using a long telephoto lens.
The Big E. drove off in a new Corvette and
never was seen at the contest site. McGill
spent the last of the Bones Brigade's
money to rent a motel room for a young
lady in distress. Mr. V. wore his Rolex
Submariner as a badge of honor. Someone
locked the Editor of THRASHER out of his
room in the middle of a night. Torrid skate
sessions erupted all over downtown with
the Black Boy Jungle, Hyatt Regency and
Grain Elevator being the hippest transi-
tions. Soeone emptied the Holiday Inn
pool, providing free and easy vertical
sessions. The hotel guards carried four
foot sticks, presumably to measure airs.
Truckers walked about with fully loaded
pistols. Bark Hard tapes were pirated. The
Hawk pulled off a 720 and gained another
grand for his victory fund. Christ got
second and, as usual, was the media star's
media star. KPRC TV showed up with a
directoress in tight jeans, kneeboots and a
silk shirt. I think she became a close
personal friend of Larry Balma. Nell
borrowed a skate mid-run. Many in the jam
opted for rebates. Newspaper reporters
crowded the environs. It was a quality,
family-oriented scene mixed with a hard
core party. Staab dressed cruel and skated
the same. Godoy pretended he was the
other one. Joe Johnson turned pro,
stating, "It doesn't make any difference."
Joe Lopes turned blonde and was last
seen swapping spit atop a parked car in
Dallas. One-legged black girls stood in
traffic for four straight days and begged.
Homeless street people slept beneath
mammoth architectural spectacles erected
by prosperous multi-national corporations.
The EXVC Gallery showed Day of the
Dead, Goodrich the great hously
picked up the tab for all at the Hyatt
Regency. He also kindly paid for a couple
of collect calls. The domed stadium sprung
a leak and the Houston Oilers went on the
rag. Police officers disguised themselves
as room service and attempted to pene-
trate the skater's rooms. Parties were held
with regularity. The sticker toss caused the
representative from Reuters News Service
to look twice. Rental cars were left as very
used cars. It was probably better that way.
Roskopp slammed hard and ventured off
to the hospital. Preliminary reports indi-
cated a severely broken leg and concus
sive head blast. Rob, against all medical
orders, walked out of the emergency room
under his own power. Until further notice,
that's a big 10-4.