ad'ac
FORGET
THE
TRASH
Skarfing
Material
It was a fierce, fire of a feeling that
invaded my uprotected head, as the relent-
less sun rays beat down, pounding on me,
frying my brain, burning my nose, question-
ing my wondering thoughts.
Four hours, waiting in line for bloody
Bruce Springsteen tickets.
And I'm not even into' the guy. As far as
I'm concerned he only has one good song.
"Born to Run".
But, then there's the real reason I'm here.
Yeah, uh huh. We all know beggars can't
be choosey. She's a fine, fine Italian
woman, widowed via a big bucks dude. I'd
do absolutely anything for her (for the next
three weeks at least). Only flaw I could see
was she fell 'hook, line and sinker for the
"Born in the U.S.A." crap. Her name is
Wilma.
Who invented the big bucks, big star, col-
iseum rock thing anyway? Just put the
bands on a barge out in the middle of a
lake and everyone could bring their picnic
baskets, blankets, kick back on the beach,
get drunk and throw up on each other right
there on the shoreline.
10
With Chef Boy-Am-I-Hungry
Oh, the line moved, I can take a step.
That's three steps in the last half hour. Cool,
the intervals are getting closer together. I'm
cruisin' now. THE BOSS. MY ASS.
Saw a guy this morning in a black leather
jacket carrying an arm full of decks and two
completely set up sticks. Looked kinda like
T.A., but, naw, I don't think so, this is France.
Wilma's probably finished out at the ten-
nis club and is, right about now, arriving at
the dedication ceremonies for the new
office complex in honor or her ex.
Me, I'm in a line for Bruce Springsteen
tickets. Good thing I came prepared and
brought some bread and some...
...SPREADS THAT I MADE!
I brought two spreads, a Vermouth
cheese spread and my favorite, Yippy-
yappy Chile-Jack
VERMOUTH CHEESE SPREAD
O.k., this one's not really for the kiddies
out there, unless they're trying to impress
their parents on their anniversary. A lot of
you kids out there do love your parents,
don't you? Well, DON'T YOU? Say yes.
Get a 3 ounce cube of packaged cream
Stuntwoods, waiting in line
cheese and beat the holy-livin'-jackass-hell
out of it until it gets really soft.
Then you grate up 1 cup of your basic
Jack style cheese (Monterey is good), get
2 tablespoons (give or take) dry Vermouth
and ½ teaspoon dillweed. Beat it into
the cream cheese in the same manner as
described before, but this time don't be
so rough.
When you're done, put it in a covered
container and refrigerate. After a long time
take it out and let soften to room tempera-
ture before spreading.
YIPPY YAPPY CHILE-JACK
When I say this one's good, I mean this
one's good.
*13-oz package cream cheese spread (softened).
1 cup shredded jack-style cheese
3 tablespoons sour cream
*1 tablespoon diced green chiles (mild)
teaspoon garlic powder
½ teaspoon chile powder
1/8 teaspoon sea salt
1 finely diced green onion
This is so easy it's sick. Grab all this stuff
and mix it with an electric mixer 'til it gets
real creamy and the S.O.B. is ready. This
stuff shreds with chips, veggies and
crackers.
Oh, the line moved again, I gotta move.
See ya
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