ON BOARD RASH
COMING EVENTS
1985 CASL SCHEDULE
November 2
Pipeland, Upland. Combi-Pool/Tight Slalom
November 9th
SHUT UP AND SKATE '85
Houston Half-pipe......
Houston, TX
Rain date: Nov. 10. Call: Zorlac (214)
426-5591 or (713) 442-6554
Then
the
Damn
Lady
appeared
out of
Suburbia
I was
instant
ly
de-gnar 17
ized.
I was
getting
rad.
SOCIO-POLITICAL EVALUATIONS:
Once again the much revered manufac-
turers organization allegedly held one of
their state of the sport meetings. Once
again the much beleagured representa-
tives of the pro skater's "union" were not in
attendance. Now the question is: Why did
our reps fail to show? (choose one) 1) The
manufacturers cleverly hid the location of
the meeting, 2) The reps were too busy
skating. 3) These meetings are pointless
anyway, 4) The reps went on a picnic with
Mr. Hawk, or 4) The reps are now talking
pro skater boycott.
Inside tipsters relate that at this manufac
turers meeting the powers of the sport
decided to fund a "demonstration contest"
organized by Don Hoffman. Some
observers were a little confused since
I was
street talk had it that the Capitola
getting Streetstyle Classic was such an event. Mr.
gnarly. Steve Steadham, who publically advo-
And
stared
at me
with
eyes
death;
HACKIN' AND HEWIN
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cated a skater's union over two years ago,
continued his silence on the matter.
Obviously Steadham knows something
we don't. Perhaps he knows that you don't
need a union to ride a skateboard. Or more
precisely perhaps he realizes that guys
who can't make up their minds have no
mind at all.
Legendary skater from the clay wheeled
archives, Marty Sugarman scored 100
bucks on one Cal Lottery Ticket in one try.
Sugle, longtime partner of Jimmy Z, is
now eligible for the two million buck
drawing. Talk has it he will build a new ramp
if he wins.
Welcome the the crunch bunch. Visions
skate warriors go to the hosital zone-
John Grigley-broken arm, Jason Jesse
broken arm, Marty Jiminez - broken
nose, Chris Robinson-broken nose,
Rodger Harvey-broken thumb, Mark
Rogowski-sprained ankle and Mark
Gonzales-stitches. Mark reportedly is
leaving his momma in retaliation and
moving to H.B. Gator for some reason can
be seen modeling skate "fashions" on the
pages of a particular BMX magazine.
And at this year's heavily publicized
Ocean Pacific Professional Surfing
Championship the highest airs were all
executed on the demo skate ramp. Thanks
to Sure Grip's promotional activities. Erik
Grisham, Lester Kasal, Chris May, Jinx,
Mike Folmer, Jim Gray and a smattering
of Huntington Beach locals showed the
surfing world the true meaning of rad. Their
session should show up on your video tube.
When the lads got off the plane the
locals were filming an end of the world
disaster movie. Paige Hearns' ramp at
Little Rock, Arkansas was superbly
constructed. Danforth claimed that Paige
had installed hundreds of small fans
underneath the ramp to prevent it from
slicking out. (Bill looked like he meant
what he said.) What ever happened to
blind hate, has it turned into misguided
admiration? Steadham's dreads blew out
the state fair. Best Question: "Where are
you from?" Best Answer: "Africa." Hawk
edged Phillips for a grand and a case of
beer provided by T.K. Inexplicably, Blender
failed to make the cut. Grosso took top am
status and promptly became a judge.
Craig Johnson astounded the crowd.
Hosol had green hair. Roskopp wrenched
his back. Mountain got third and a micro-
wave oven for his new dreamhouse.
Caballero re-opened the stitches on his
knee. Chuck Treece and Groholski
executed tactics beyond comprehensions.
The police closed down the motel and for
obscure reasons temporarily detained a
prominent Nebraska skater. Someone
burned Vision shorts in the hall. McGill
performed Mc Twists and pondered the
possibilities of the S.S. Schmitt rolled,
undoubtedly noting the heavy recognition.
value of his stix. Bruno Peeters stole the
Vision team bus with five girls. Tex Gibson
dove to the car wrecks with no epuipment.
Someone nailed the Cadillac of a promi-
nent local landowner. Lizards lived in the
hair of skatemen. The Loud Ones pro-
vided the official event soundtrack. Police
wondered as to the source of the blood in
Staab's room. (Did it come from the nose
of an interloper? Names like Buck Smith
and Bobby Reeves kept appearing.)
Goodrich searched for journalistic truth.
Ridgeway minded his own business. The
ruins of the local Skatetown park were
bulldozed one week before the contest.
Smith and Lucero were both denied
access to the plane because of suspected
social deviation, (Question two: "That boy,
what's he on?" Answer two: "It's a
skateboard.") Peralta was qverheard
saying, "just remember you guys could be
working at Vans." Rocco gave away T's to
everyone that moved and a few who didn't.
Losi appeared suave and sophisticated.
Steve Keenan appeared perplexed over
his bald tires and three thousand mile
journey. Lester Kasal continued in his
undercover commercial mode. Dennis
Martinez led the Christian radical sog-
ment. Thatcher remained cool, detached
and objective. I.Q. demonstrated his
sub-simcon grasp of society in general.
The level of skate competition was higher
than anytime in the past. The contest
proceeded smoothly. Moves tended to be
megga rad. The local police tended to their
business, leaving the skaters at the
contest site to theirs. Beer is never sold on
Sundays. In the end Cash money was
paid, products were thrown, punches were
tossed, stickers were pasted and fun was
had. (Further tales, etc. can be read in the
official coverage.)
Where skaters go the mass media
eventually follows arid here's the latest
inside scoop from Outside Magazine
Apparently the massmen have just disco-
vered that former pro skater Nelson Vails.
aka the top sprint cyclist in the world and
the Olympic silver medalist, stil skates? It
seems that Nelson's tactics in the surbur
ban Winchester pools still draw attention
Can it be that Vails keeps his tile walking
undercover these days so that his big buck
bike sponsors wont get pissed off? Once a
skater a ways a skater
RUMORS
Blender and Phillips are rumored to be
starting a salvage diving company
Grisham is rumored to be employed as
an instructor in a Korean drawing school
Fausto V. and Eric S. are rumored to
have bought look alike 86 Vettes
Balma Larry is rumored to have purch
ased a condo in La Costo Del Sur
Fats Macintyre is rumored to be losing
weight in order to better train for the
manufacturers division of the upcoming
Capitola Classic.
Lance Mountain is rumored to have
altered the motor of Mclean Stevenson's
motoboard during a recent television
appearance
Mike McGill is tumored to have caused
a draft dodger to be kicked off the same
show by Sarah Purcell for being un-Amer
can
Brian Wainwright of Rad Cat zine fame
is rumored to be organizing a vertical
rollerskating tour.
Two more public ramps are rumored to
be in the works for the Virginia Beach
environs
Winford Thomas is rumored to be
undergoing a sexchange in Sweden, (the
reason being he wants to double for chicks
in the movies)
The creator of a much discussed him
dealing with skating is rumored to be
contemplating legal action due to a certai
producer's shoddy execution of storyline.
Captain Gary Ellis of the Benicia
California Police Department is rumored to
be using undercover skate cops in an effort
to combat skateboard vandals
Hackett Hosoi McGill Mountain
Caballero and Peralta are rumored to be
in New York city for undisclosed reasons
staying in 150 dollar a day rooms at the
Sheraton Center
Keith Stephenson is now rumored fo
be living in Japan teaching Zen archery
Jeff former Wasted Youth singer, is
rumored to be in Japan skating on a
modeling contract
El Zopilote of Houston, TX is rumored to
be leading a mass night-time atch assault
on this year's Harvest Moon
Rumor has it that the SV Termite ramp
has been torn down but is being moved.
(yes, agaip).
ON THARD
QUESTION OF THE MONTH
Which prominent pro model man called
up another manufacturer cut a clear to
switch and later denied the entire incident?
MORE PSYCHIC DAMAGE?
Immediately after Losi nailed V. Grantin
the 'ace at Lemni Grove tamp (perma-
nently imprinting FE-2 on tes forehead).
who e se tiul Brittain shows up to cick
with Mr. Bennett Dennis M. and Rus C
All of the proceeding was later attributed to
amnesia We cant remember why Grant
forgot
QUOTE OF THE MONTH
"Every circus needs a clown that's why
Lance Mountain
we have Rocco
Montague banks skade spor of the decade Christ boneless night jousting
wh KT calls the blow by blow