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MADNESS IN WONDERLAND
NSA/Variflex "Rage at Badlands," May 11th & 12th
You're about to read it. It's just one word, a noun, I think-but by the time you've seen it,
the optic nerves that are located just behind your eyes will have done their job and tele
graphed that noun to your brain. In return, your brain will produce some emotional adjectives
directly related to that particular word. Words like fear, or maybe pain. Now read the word:
UPLAND. Welcome to the home of the infamous Pipeline Skatepark, where Fame, Fate
and Failure all crowd the air space in and above the structure known as: CombiPool.
A whole lot of skaters got together to see about their immediate future on May 11th and
12th, when the Pipeline played host to the NSA/Variflex "Rage at Badlands" contest.
Regardless of the name used to identify it, any contest that goes down at Upland can never
be called mild. It is not mellow and it is not a social mixer. The prevailing mood at Upland
is all business. What other contest site has bouncers who eat steroids for breakfast and
spectators who divide equal time between cheering and breathing sighs of relief when a
skater emerges from the pool in one piece? You don't skate Upland...you survive it.
Saturday's survival hopefuls were dividing their attention between the banked slalom
area and the CombiPool. At about 10 a.m. the banked slalom event got underway. This ill
conceived piece of concrete is no joy ride either. It's got 5 different transitions and 3 different
surface textures to choose from and slamming on any one of them is not a positive experi-
ence, especially when you're going 30-35 m.p.h. In the amateur division, Paul Schmitt took
1st place honors with a fast 11.45, followed by Dave Duncan and his broken arm in 2nd
with an 11.50, and Keith Stevenson in 3rd with an 11.52. When the ams had had their say,
the pros took over and provided some good humor as well as some good riding. Lance
and Tony were pleading their case that banked slalom should be scored like basketball,
thereby awarding 1st place to the rider with the highest score. This still would have done
neither of them any good, because on this day it was Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, disguised as
pro freestyler-turned-future-slalom-hopeful Bob Schmeltzer who kickturned his way to a
1stlast place (depending on how you score) time of 16-plus seconds. Bob's comment:
"Hey, I just borrowed this board...why don't the trucks turn?". On the other end of the scale,
Brian Martin was turning in the fastest times in practice, but he blew up in the contest,
allowing a superfast Steve Steadham to speed into the 1st place spot with a time of 11.30.
Brian took 2nd with an 11.38 and Bob DeNike copped 3rd with an 11.55. By the time the
ams had collected their trophies and the pros had collected their checks, the amateurs
were just finishing up their practice heats in the combipool and were getting ready to try
and make the cut to Sunday's finals. This wasn't hard, since, due to the number of amateur
entries, the cut included all but two or three of the riders. This isn't to say that they weren't
pushing it, though.
After the amateur elimination, the pros got in the pool to show all present what state of
the art skating is all about. During the practice heats, Chris Miller was looking totally
unbeatable. He has put a lot of hours into this pool and he tears it up bigtime. Lofty backside
methods on the hip of the round, corner airs, ollies on the hip, you name it and he did it.
He was going faster in the pool than some were going on the slalom course. The other
pros weren't exactly standing in his shadow, though. Lester, Tony, Lance, Stevie, Christ
and Steadham were casting some rather large shadows of their own over the CombiPool.
Once the smoke had cleared from the pro elimination rounds, 12 of the best were in
there for Sunday's final. The 12 who made the cut were as follows: Miller was in the first
spot by being just short of Godlike. (The crowd was shouting. "It's Miller time," as Chris
Perfected frontside air over the shallow-end hip,
Lester Kasal (opposite page).
Tony Hawk, looking for a place to land (left).